They Call Me Psycho- Frerard

Prolouge

     Gerard was always known as the kid that sat in the back. The kid who didn't have any friends. The kid that was lost in his own world, afraid of reality. He was never spoken to, never called on, and he was never considered "normal" to anyone. Even though his life seemed empty as a child, he never saw it that way.  

     He was interested in things that other kids weren't. He liked to draw; they liked to play sports. He liked listening to Iron Maiden; they liked listening to Michael Jackson. He loved scary movies; they liked comedies. Everything about him was different from the other kids, which was why it was hard for him to find a friend. 

     But he did have one friend by the name of Lila. She was just as weird as Gerard, even if she didn't present herself in the fashion. She always changed her hair color, ranging from black to blue, pink to red, and sometimes even two colors at once. 

     Though she seemed outspoken and confident, she was actually rather insecure and shy. She had spoken to Gerard multiple times about how she hated, well, just about everything. She felt that her body wasn't slim enough, her small eyes not large enough, and her already sharp face not skinny enough. And with every complaint, it just made Gerard realize how pathetic her claims were.

     "Stop bashing yourself, everything about you is perfect," he'd say to comfort her antagonizing thoughts. But she continued, and each day she perfected a mask that could hide her worst fears and insecurities. Gerard knew it was a matter of time before Lila broke character.

     And Gerard's worst fear came true.

    It was a Friday afternoon, specifically fifth period, when Gerard noticed something was off. Lila had not waited for Gerard after art class like they usually arranged. Though Gerard found it strange, he brushed it off. 

    Perhaps she'll meet me at my locker, he thought.

    He walked to his locker, clinging onto his journal that held all his secrets and treasures tightly. If his imagination were to escape from the confides of his journal, then his nightmares would come to reality.

    He reached his locker, surprised that Lila had not been there either. Was she not at school today? he thought to himself.

    He walked to his locker and opened it. He retrieved his English textbook and closed the locker, wincing a little as his locker creaked loudly from over use. He turned and started walking towards his English class, but something stopped him in his tracks.

    Gerard was met with a physical force throwing him back into his locker. His journal was knocked from his hands as he fell, feeling all the air in his lungs deflate. He fell onto the floor in pain and struggled to catch his breath. He knew what was bound to happen.

     Gerard lay on the floor preparing himself for the physical pain that was bound to come. But when his attacker spoke, he was taken aback by how familiar the voice was.

     "You like that, faggot!"

     Gerard was once again breathless. This wasn't the voice of one of his usual assailants. This was the voice of someone he knew all too well.

     Gerard slowly looked up to meet his attacker, wishing that he was just overthinking. But when he saw the face of his antagonist, he wished he didn't. He felt sick as the situation dawned on him. His worst fear was standing in front of him as the shape of Lila.

    Lila grabbed Gerard by the collar of his shirt roughly. "Stand you fucking retard! Are you so stupid that you forgot how to walk?" 

    Gerard struggled to his feet and watched as a small crowd began to gather around them. He didn't want the attention that this physical confrontation was bringing, and Lila knew that.

    "Why are you so pathetic? I can't believe I was actually friends with someone that's such a fucking coward," she said dryly. Gerard felt the impact of her words stab into his heart, making a painful gash. But she wasn't done yet.

    "You know I never gave a shit about anything you ever told me. You know when your grandma died, I was so happy. In fact, I was overjoyed. And you know why? Because I knew that her death would hurt you." 

    Another stab at his heart, this time a deeper gash, hit Gerard. Lila was slowly ripping Gerard apart.

    Lila's eyes met the ground where Gerard's journal lay. She smirked and picked it up. Gerard struggled under Lila's tight grip, but Lila was always stronger than him. He tried to break free, but it only earned him a smack over the head.

    "Sit still you moron! I'm trying to show my friends the best part," she said. Gerard felt like a chicken about to be slaughtered. He'd never felt more terrified in his life than in that moment. Why would she hurt him like this?

    She opened the journal and cleared her throat. She took a deep breath and began reading the words that Gerard had written on the first page. 

    "Long ago. Just like the hearse you died to get in again. We are so far from you," she read aloud. Gerard felt the horror on his face. She was reading the lyrics he'd wrote for his dead grandmother.

    Lila wasn't done invading his privacy just yet. She flipped to another page and showed everyone his drawing of what he called "Helena."

     "See everyone? I told you this kid's a freak. He likes to draw dead people in his free time." 

     The crowd laughed and joined in on the teasing. Gerard blocked them out though. He was focusing on trying to hold himself together. His heart wasn't just torn now; it was being ripped out of his chest.

      Lila walked in front of Gerard and dangled the notebook in front of his face. "I hope you memorized all your drawings and lyrics because you're not getting them back," she said. Then, to Gerard's horror, she began tearing the pages out. 

      One after another, Gerard watched his personal pages fly into the crowd. He screamed in horror, forgetting about keeping himself together and tackled Lila.

      Lila was taken aback by the force and lost her balance. Gerard pinned her down and began screaming at her.

      "Why would you do this? What have I ever done to you? Do ten years not mean anything to you?" he screamed at her. 

      Lila smirked as Gerard shouted at her. Gerard could tell that he already knew what she was going to say before she even said anything. "Why would I care about someone like you? All you are is an empty person waiting to hang himself. Why don't you do us all a favor and tie the noose already?"

      Gerard froze and absorbed her words, soaking in every painful impact they brought. He didn't feel her push him off her, or the way she left her physical impact on his face. In fact, he felt nothing. Everything that he ever clung to was torn from him, and it was all his fault. 

     "I never want to see you again, Gerard. You were never family to me. You will always be dead to me," she spat the words and walked away, taking her "friends" with her. 

     And it was in that moment that Gerard knew he was dead. Lila had ripped his heart out and watched as everything he ever loved bled out. He knew that not even a new heart could fix the damage that'd been done. Gerard was gone for good, and he was never coming back.

    Too bad that band aids can't fix broken hearts.