Journal

In Love

3:46
The room is dark, I'm staring up at the ceiling. My hands are lying on my chest, feeling the rhythm of my beating heart.
I can't sleep.
I can't sleep.
I can't stop thinking about her.
The way she cares for me. The way she speaks to me. Her soft-spoken, motherly tone. Her little jokes and feeble attempts to make me laugh. They always work.
And I think I'm falling in love.

It's 2:21, the room is dark, and I'm up staring at the ceiling. My hands are behind my head, a smile is spread across my face.
She's on my mind. Her name is on my lips. Is she thinking about me?
All I want is to fall asleep so I can wake up and see her again.

Then it's 11:39.
She hasn't spoken to me in a while. I'm worrying about it. Did she forget about me? Is she trying to get me to leave?
Is she sick of me?
I shake the thought out of my head. I'll text her again in the morning.

She responds.

It's been five months. We've been talking every day.
Does she love me?
All I want to do is tell her, but I'm scared. Scared of being left, and scared of being alone. Scared of dealing with rejection. Scared of what might really happen.

"I love you."

It's been eight months. I'm still in love, and growing more in love every day. She's so pretty. Her smile, her laugh, her eyes, everything about her. My mind never wanders from her. My eyes never deviate. I don't want anything else, or anyone else.
I'm happy.
I'm complete.
I'm obsessed.
I'm in love.