To when I return

Author's note

Over two years after last update, I believe you deserve cancellation notice. My Grey's obsession died before my writers block did.

Life got crazy. Turns out you can't half ass college the same way you can high school. I started this story when I was 16. Started publishing at 17. I'm turning 22 this summer and I don't think the person who started this story and the person now writing this note are the same. 

I always knew my dyslexia was a problem that caused me to struggle with learning English and working on this project was something that finally made everything that was taught in class click for me. I'm forever grateful for that.  

I was on my first year of college when I published the last chapters and I was struggling to write. I was also recently diagnosed with ADHD that probably played it's part in all of this. Those symptoms got worse after my first 6 months of studies and I've been slowly spiraling the past 2.5 years. I went from sleeping bad to sleeping worse, assignments were late, I barely passed exams, even once had to push my internships start over because I couldn't write about my starting level, wasn't about not knowing where my level was, but just physically couldn't get my self to write it. Last November during one of my internship I completely burned out. 

You don't know me, but if you did you would know I'm the "cold and calculated" one most of the time. Most of my closest friends have never seen me cry. I don't really let my emotions lose in the way many people do. I knew I should've slowed down sooner but I couldn't do that. I saw how bad things were getting from the beginning of last fall when I had my first panic attacks alone at home. I spent hours crying because I couldn't finish simple assignments. In November the final eye opener was when I broke down crying in front of my teacher during mid internship review. (I repeat, most my friends have never seen that.) I completed the internship but spent the next two months nearly unable to do anything. 

10/10 would not recommend letting it get that bad. If basic functions become a chore, please ask for help. It's better than thinking how just not waking up was better option. 

For a long time I told myself I would come and finish this story, but I know it's time for me to let go of this chapter in my life. This story was how I realized my love for writing. I still love writing, but if doing something you love becomes forced you should be allowed quit guilt-free. 

Anyways. I've got a Korrasami fiction series going on in AO3 under the same username called "Matching Tattoos" in case anyone is interested in my writing and not just Mark and Lexie. 

If you read this all the way down here, thank you. Have a good one. I'm going to close this door now.