to a new beginning (Kaz Brekker x OC)

Prolog

I woke up covered in sweat. My sleep has been uneven, and nightmares plagued me. I've been dreading this day since weeks, but I will not be able to escape it now.

Its my birthday, for most people my age a great time with parties and presents. But for me it will just be a day full of pain and sad memories. Growing up in Ketterdam is not a pleasant thing. I can not remember the last time I was happy.

I eventually peal my covers of me and stand up. It is not even bright outside yet. But I was never one to sleep long in the mornings.

After getting dressed I slowly make my way down to the common room. The other kids are mostly younger than me, because most of them find new people to stay with after a few months.

As I make my way to the place I usually sit for breakfast, I can already see the candles set around my plate. That is the las thing I need now. Attention from my supervisors and the other kids. No matter how many times I tell them that today is not really a day I want to celebrate, they just don't understand.

Clary, one of my supervisors is standing besides my regular place and beaming like the sun itself. "Alex, my darling! Happy Birthday! I know you always say, you don't want us to make a big thing out of your Birthday, but I just had to.", she tells me, still with a big smile.

She has allways been like that. Big smile and heart but no brains behind it. That smile dims as she sees my expression. I just stand there and look at her.

I should have never come down here. After considering things, I decide to go back up.

I can hear a knock on my door every ten minutes but decide to ignore them. I am in no mood to talk right now, and they know it.

It has been four years now, since everything changed but it still hurts so bad. If anything, it has just gotten worse. A heart can only survive that long without love. If it lives long enough without it, it suddenly stops working until you dont feel anything anymore.

I think it was that moment that I decided.
I climb out of my window and make my way down over the rain groove.

Ketterdam is never a pleasant place, but in autumn it is fogy and wet. The sun will rise soon, and I plan to make it to the harbour by the time it does. Just one last time I want to see it.

The streets are empty and everywhere are shadows. The city is mocking me. Showing me what is in my heart. Shadows and emptiness.

As I arrive at the harbour it is already crowded from all the fisherman and travellers going out into the stormy sea.

But there is a secluded spot at the end of the docks. It is my personal spot. I sit down and watch as the sun slowly creeps over the horizon. It drives the fog away slowly.

The sea is gray today. I always liked the sea. It is wide and full of possibilities.

I think to myself that this is a worthy last moment. By the place I love most.
I took a sharp knife with me and now slowly set it just above my heart.

Just as I want to drive it in, I hear a voice behind me, rough and raspy. "I don't think that is a good idea."

I swirl around and look into two brown eyes like bitter coffee. They belong to a boy around my age. Lean, tall and with a cane.

"I can help you. I have you a job.", he says.
And that is how I met Kaz Brekker.