"If You Fall, I'll Catch You"

part 2

⸻

The silence between them lingered after the kiss. Not heavy, not awkward—just fragile. Like the hush after a storm, when the winds have paused but the damage is still being counted.

Nelly didn't pull away, but she didn't lean in either. Her head rested gently on Kamala's shoulder, her breath shaky, her fingers nervously tugging at the sleeves of her sweater.

She whispered, barely audible.
"Why did you kiss me?"

Kamala closed her eyes. "I don't know," she said honestly. "It just... felt right. In that moment. You looked so lost. And I just wanted you to feel something safe."

Nelly nodded slowly, a tear sliding down her cheek again.
"Everything hurts. Even when it shouldn't. Even now, with you. It's like there's a wall in my chest and I'm behind it, screaming—but no one can hear me. Not even me sometimes."

Kamala gently took her hand, her thumb brushing over Nelly's knuckles. "Then let me sit behind the wall with you. You don't have to scream alone."

There was a pause, and then Nelly tried to pull herself together. "I should go. It's late."

But Kamala didn't let go. "No."

Nelly blinked, confused. "No?"

Kamala's voice was soft, firm. "You're not going home alone tonight. I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing you're there, sitting in the dark with everything you just told me."
She hesitated. "Doug's out of town for a few days. It's just me. And I don't want to let you go like this."

Nelly looked down, ashamed. "But... I don't want to be a burden. I already—"

"You're not," Kamala cut in gently. "You are not a burden, Nelly. You're a young woman who's hurting. And I care about you. That's not something I'm apologizing for."

Nelly tried to smile, but it trembled and fell apart before it could reach her eyes. "I'm just... confused. About the kiss. About everything."

Kamala squeezed her hand. "I'm confused too," she admitted. "But I know what my gut tells me. And right now, it says you shouldn't be alone."

⸻

Later, in Kamala's home, the warmth felt foreign to Nelly. Like stepping into a memory that didn't belong to her.

The lights were dim. There was soft jazz playing somewhere in the background. Kamala tossed her keys in a bowl near the entrance and looked over her shoulder.
"You okay?"

Nelly nodded automatically, though her eyes were already glazing over again.

Kamala handed her a clean sweatshirt and sweatpants. "Go change. We'll order something, or I'll make tea, and we can just... watch something. No pressure. No questions."

Nelly swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. "Okay."

⸻

They ended up watching The West Wing, half because Nelly had always been curious, and half because Kamala wanted her to feel seen in a world where young women dared to dream.

Nelly barely lasted two episodes.

Her body, exhausted from all the crying and pretending, sagged against the couch. Her head gently fell against Kamala's shoulder.

Kamala didn't move. Just let her rest. Let her breathe.

A few minutes passed before Nelly spoke again, her voice muffled.

"You know, I wake up most days and wonder what the point is. I try to be smart. I try to be strong. But it always feels like... I'm fading. Like I'm disappearing and no one notices. Like I could vanish, and the world would go on exactly the same."

Kamala's heart cracked. She wrapped her arms around Nelly, carefully, protectively.
"That's not true. Not even close."

Nelly didn't look up. "It feels true. Even now. Even when you say nice things. My brain finds ways to twist everything. Tells me I'm stupid. Unlovable. That I'm only worth anything if I keep pretending to be okay."

Kamala didn't argue. Instead, she kissed the top of her head.
"I know those voices. I've fought some of them myself. And I know how convincing they can be. But they're liars. Every last one of them. And if you forget that again... I'll remind you. As many times as you need."

A tear slid down Nelly's cheek again. "I'm scared, Kam."

"I know, baby," Kamala whispered. "I know."

⸻

When Nelly finally fell asleep, it was in Kamala's arms. Her breathing even, her brow no longer furrowed in pain.

Kamala stayed awake. Stroking her hair, holding her close.
She didn't have all the answers.

She just had this moment.

And maybe... for tonight... that was enough.

⸻