The Other Side Of Me

Chapter 12:

1. I know you homies get tired of me saying this but PLEASE COMMENT AND VOTE!!!!(this goes out to the people who have not done that already ;)
2. Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I've been sick :/
3. You homies are amazing!!
-authorfortheFather
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We finally arrive in Pennsylvania at a creepy looking motel. The sky is pitch black; but the moon is still visible. The sound of crickets chirping and the cold evening feel of the breeze whispering past us causes chills to run down my spine. I pinch my sweaters sleeves over my hands to keep them from freezing to death. We're all just standing in the parking lot by the van waiting for Garrett to give us each our key cards along with our sleeping order. Everyone is either talking or on their phones and I'm just standing around, alone, waiting.

Which makes me wonder if sometimes my biological mother feels lonely without me. Knowing that her daughter is out in the world somewhere; this one thought brings me to ask another question, if she knows she has a daughter, why hasn't she bothered looking for me? Am I even worth it? My thoughts are interrupted by Garrett's loud voice that I can hear from a mile away.

"Ok everyone, so I got our room keys and our sleeping order." He hands us each our room keys and then gives the instructions on whose rooming with who. "Danny your rooming with me, Macy your rooming with Mara," I can see Macy roll her teal blue eyes even in the dark. Obviously she doesn't want to room with me. You and me both.

He says the names of the others and tells Jerry that he's sleeping in his own room since there was an odd number of people. "Absolutely not. You expect me to sleep by myself in that haunted ant hill your calling a motel?," he scoffs, "You must be out of your mind. I think I'll just stay here with Jenna," he pats the side of the metal van, "keep her company you know." With that he opens the drivers door and then yells out the window "goodnight everybody". I walk over to Macy but before I can even make eye contact she walks away towards the stairs that lead to our room.
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"So why are you even on this road trip?" Macy asks as she finishes brushing her brown hair and turns off the bathroom light. She walks over to the twin bed next to mine and slouches against the wall while reading a magazine about Channing Tatum. Her tone is arrogant and annoying, two things I don't want to deal with before I go to sleep. I don't answer but instead lick the tip of my finger and flip over a page in my book.

"You know, I think your just a nobody who so desperately wants to fit in but she's too scared to have everyone know about who she really is." Oh my gosh, does she know? "But I know exactly who the real you is Mara Fletcher," oh my gosh, oh my gosh. I can feel my breaths coming out slower more careful, like if I breathed too hard my lungs would explode inside of me.

"A nobody."

With that she turns off the lamp and covers herself with her blanket. Everything is black and the moon shining through blinds attched to the window is the only light that I see. My chest sinks inward and suddenly struggling to hold on to the joy I had earlier.

And it's not until this moment that I realize how desperately I was holding onto it, wanting it to be unconditional. Just wishing it would last. Guess nothing lasts forever.

Maybe what's she says is true. My mother doesn't bother looking f or me? No maybe she just didn't know. How could you not know that your pregnant? I mean for starters you look like you swallowed a basketball.

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and blink away the salt water that has been nagging at me, telling me to let them flow like they should. Not tonight. I close my eyes and intake deeply; I tuck myself under the covers hoping that this next comment will ease the tension that she just placed in the small motel room. "Goodnight Ma-"
"just go to sleep Mara." She cuts me off before I can say the rest.

That's it. I'm done.

I inhale another deep breath, this one deeper than before, and yank off the sheet covers. I yank open the draws beneath the nightstand, not bothering to turn on the lamp light, and start gathering all my clothes stuffing them in my luggage that I had left open on the luggage holder thing and grab my crossover bag. I'm out the door.

The air outside smells of bleach and salt water which is weird considering the fact that there is no beach insight. Then again it's nighttime. The floor is looks like the Grinch who stole Christmas came and threw up considering the fact that the color green is all I see beneath my feet. The black railings are rusted and don't even look like they can prevent a cat from falling onto the pavement below.

The white lights above me that stream all the way down the hallway as far as I can see, are the only lights guiding me from the bay him does on the floor. I struggle down the steps but finally manage and start walking out of the parking lot. I'm halfway in the parking lot, just now passing by Jerry's van "Jenna", before I hear a room for open.

I don't bother turning around seeing who it is, I just want to to keep walking. I need to get out of here. Need to do this on my own. Somehow find a way to get to Washington and find my mother. My real mother.

Alone.

" Mara," I can hear Danny's voice call after me and it's his voice that makes me stop. He holds his hand up like he's surrendering but he's not, he's just confused. And so am I. That's why I have to leave. "What's the problem?"

Suddenly I regret stopping. You should've kept going. "Apparently I am." Then I turn around and continue walking. Then I praise briefly and day, "And don't even think about following me." Then I continue walking, put of the parking lot onto the side of the road, duffal bag and all. My journey has officially begun.
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I'm sooooooo I haven't updated in awhile, I hope you guys enjoy it. PLEASE COMMENT AND VOTE!!!!
-authorfortheFather