Hate you not

CHAPTER 9

He runs his hands into my shaggy black hair  and it feels nice

I close my eyes and lean into his touch letting him mess up my hair. I feel his breath on my neck and can hear him breathing in my scent, does he like how I smell? I hope he does

" you smell good " I don't know how to respond " thanks.." he nuzzles his face into my neck. Is this really happening? A few hours ago I thought he hated me but now he's in my bed cuddling me after I told him why I'm sad

" I should probably get going or my dad will be pissed " he lets go of me and i want to tell him to stay but instead i say " yeah you should go"

He smiles " see you tomorrow darling " he gets up and digs in his pocket for his keys " found them " I laugh a little " wanna see me out ?"

I walk with him to his car and he pauses before he opens the door " wait " he turns around and hugs me

I put my arms around the back of his neck and lift on my tippy toes to reach his height
He suddenly pulls away " ok bye " he shuts the door and pulls out of the driveway

I walk in the house smiling
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The next morning I make sure I look cute in the mirror and grab my bag
" bye mom" I yell " wait you forgot your lunch " I run and grab it " bye sweetie "

I get in my car and drive to school ready to see him after last night's events. I finally get there and see him

" Aran! Over here " he looks at me and smiles " why is the gay freak talking to you " his friend scoffs " ew maybe he likes you " his other friend says and Aran blushes " ew I don't like him " he looks at me then turns his focus to his friends

Oh. I should have known it was all just an act why am I so gullible that I actually believed him

I believed that he actually liked me I believed that he cared I BELIEVED HIS STUPID ACT

I walk past him bumping his shoulder and scoffed " imbecile " he made me feel stupid for believing him and letting him cuddle me " oh the freak is brave today "

I feel his eyes on me and I look back to see him giving me the saddest eyes I've ever seen

Why do I feel bad for him? He's been playing with me this whole time I shouldn't feel this way

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I'm running to class at this point almost about to cry again but I can't let people see me week and fragile

I hear someone running after me " Shawn! Wait " I run faster but he grabs my shoulder " Shawn I promise it's not what you think it is " I look at him and his eyes widen

" what you want to tell me you didn't mean it" he gives a weak smile " well yeah.." I scoff " why did you say it then? To impress your friends or because your embarrassed of me"

He squeezes my shoulder slightly " no no I'm just- " I hit his hand off me " your just what " I stop him before he can speak " don't " he stops

I walk away without letting him explain leaving him behind