Heal.

Part 9

To say that the following days were torture, was an understatement. I walked around the hut i silence. I didn't speak and neither did Alex. There were so many times, so many moments i wanted to say things. But for a week, there was only silence. I replayed our last conversation in my head over and over again thinking about what i could have said, what i should have said. If i had would it have changed anything, would things be different. would we be together, or would things have ended the same.

He was never where i could see him, he was always outside in the patio, or in his room, sometimes the kitchen if he really felt like taking the risk of actually having to see me in the flesh. Alex didn't meet my eyes, he pretend as if i wasn't there, but for me it hurt every time i saw his face. every time i turned a corner to see him there I gasped, stumbling, heart racing.

I lay awake at night, wondering how much longer i could bear the silence. One of these repetitive nights, i heard it. A sound that struck me right to the core. Alex, screaming. I bolted upright fear running through me. What should i do. When the second cry hit me i jolted. "help, please stop just stop!" he cried. A lump caught in my throat. I couldn't take it anymore.

I shot up and ran head long to Alex's room. Like the last time he was thrashing about, yelling as if he were in pain. I jumped onto the bed and began shaking him. "Alex, Alex wake up please!" His eyes snapped open and he grabbed my hands. "Alex?" i placed my hands on his face forcing him to look into my eyes. "it was just a dream, you're okay." He stayed there for a moments, panting. "You're okay." I whispered feeling the sensate of his skin on mine. his thigh next to mine, His hands on waist. Just when i settled into the pattern of his breath, he slowly moved his hands to mine, moving them back to my lap. "thank you." he said, his voice plain and hard. I nodded awkwardly standing to my feet. "yeah, no problem." he shrugged and stood up too. "well, night." he didn't respond, just looked away, his eyes emotionless. As i headed for the door a thought raced past me and i said before i could stop myself. "Alex?" he spun.

"yeah." i paused for a moment, there was no stopping it now.

"How do you do that? Act like you don't care, or pretend y-you don't feel anything?" i knew he wasn't expecting that question. "i can't- i can't do that, I feel it, i feel everything. I feel it when you walk past me, when you meet my eyes by mistake for a second." He paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "I, don't, feel that for you Lila. I never did." i nod.

"i guess i knew that already." he looked away again, silently telling me to leave. "well then, night." no response. just as i opened the door i could feel the tears coming but i sucked them up. Please don't talk to me, i silently begged. i was going to collapse and I didn't want it to be in front of him. "Lila Wait."

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This sucks! I could never be alone in a house like that, i talk too much for silence.

Don't forget to comment and vote guys, thoughts and criticism are welcome x

much love Gx