Always Greener

Keep Talking

Right. You don't care if I get off track as long as I keep talking. That makes sense, like, you wouldn't want me to...

Oh, but I should try to stay on task! You were asking about the House, and the night we got away. I'll be focused from now on.

My name is Moth. It's important to mention that, because at the House no one had names. I had to pick this one on my own. I mean, not that we couldn't have names at the House, they just wouldn't have done us any good. None of the instructors would address us by them, and if we needed to be singled out they would just call us by our primary physical characteristic. I was usually 'the small one'.

The House stood on its own in the wheat field. Um... describe it? It was pale blue, with a wide balcony in the back. It had tiny windows like beady eyes. We got food from a truck that came through the big fence. There were about twenty of us there... Well, I guess fifteen now. We all slept in the cellar, side-by-side on cots. They weren't very comfortable, and whenever you moved they made the most annoying squeak...

Okay, okay, no more about the cots.

Until that night, I thought I was born in the House. All the others were my age, they said, so I thought we must've all been born at the same time or something. But that's totally impossible, I realized. Plus it would be really weird if we were all related.

It was after dinner, which we ate on the balcony so the crumbs wouldn't make a mess inside. When we were done, the Matron made us wash off the deck with a hose. We weren't encouraged to speak to each other. We were at the House for our own betterment, which is what we all thought at the time.

There was a storm outside, with a lot of wind and rain. We could hear it in the basement, drumming at the panelling of the house. Some of the guards were upset outside. I could hear them shouting.

That's when I noticed them, the group near the furnace. They'd been lying down before the yelling started. So I wondered why they would want to get up now. Did they all need the bathroom?

They kept whispering to each other, especially the tall blonde one. She was making a very serious face. Why did they want to talk to each other so badly?

A brown girl with soft eyes grabbed something from behind the furnace, handing it to the blonde.

Curiosity wasn't encouraged at the House, but I got up anyway, putting on my soft leather shoes and quietly slipping over. The blonde seemed startled, almost frightened of me. They all stopped speaking.

I was scared. I felt I had done something wrong. But before they could scold me or send me away, the Matron hustled down the stairs to check on us. I was about to go lie back down but the tall girl grabbed my hand. I tried to make her let go but all of us, me included, were already headed for the stairs. The Matron stared, her face going all slack with shock as my captor shoved past her.

I'm sure I begged to know where we were going, but none of the girls answered. We ran down the dark hall, the Blonde smashing open a window with her tool. I think the second I felt the wind hit my skin I knew what was happening. It was too late; I was already being tugged through the window.

One of our number stayed behind, backing away from the window. She was shaking, her dark hair hiding her face. The other three wanted to stay, wanted to try to get her down, but the Blonde was firm. We had to run now, while the guards were still busy with the generator. 

The wetness of the soil soaked into my shoes, but it didn't feel uncomfortable then. The stalks of wheat slapped against my bare arms, my hair lifting in the wind. I couldn't slow down even if I wanted too; I was pulled along too fast.

There was a harsh crack in the grey air, and for a moment or two, I thought lightning was striking the field. The brown girl was lying face-down in the wheat. The blonde spat an unfamiliar word. "We have to keep going!" She urged the other two. I could see the fence now, lined with oil lamps. The rain and wind were letting up.

Before we got to the fence, the other two fell somewhere in the field. I don't know what happened to them. I could see the shadows of guards coming towards us, but the girl finally let go of my hand. More cracks sounded. Why would they be shooting at us? I didn't understand back then. My legs buckled. I made the last few steps, squeezing myself underneath. 

For a few moments, I didn't move. I couldn't ever remember being on this side of the fence. I was startled by the chain links rattling. The Blonde was trying to squeeze under, but she was so tall and hard, she'd gotten stuck. The guards were coming again. I didn't know her at all, even having seen her every day, but I reached for her hand anyway, and then we were gone...

I know I trailed off, I was just thinking. Why didn't I want to go back, even then? I didn't know I was a prisoner. I only left because someone with a stronger will dragged me along. How could that be admirable? You should be talking to her, not me.