So Little Time (Frerard) *New Version*

14: Learning To Heal With A Heart Wide Open

So Frank heaved himself out of bed with a groan, trying his best to ignore the way his muscles twinged in protest, not to mention the steadily growing ache in his temples, which Frank really hoped was brought on by a lack of sleep combined with his worry over Gerard, and not something much more serious, but whatever, it could wait - Gerard was much more important at the moment.

With determination strengthening his steps, Frank trudged downstairs slowly, rubbing his eyes wearily as he tried to decide exactly what to say to Gerard, if he was even around that is. Frank knew he had to apologize - hell, he would get down on his knees and grovel if that's what it took to get Gerard to forgive him, but Frank also had to make Gerard understand that he didn't want to be pushed to the side, and that Frank needed to know if Gerard ever felt like self-harming again.

Gerard had been clean for so long, and even though Frank should have been expecting this ever since his diagnosis, he had been caught off guard by Gerard's relapse, and now he was even more worried for what would happen to Gerard when he wasn't around, but that was something that Frank couldn't change, so he was going to do everything in his power to help Gerard as long as he was able.

Frank stopped abruptly on the bottom step of the small staircase leading up to the bedroom, his breath catching in his throat for a moment, because there in the kitchen was Gerard, eating a bowl of cereal with a forlorn look on his face.

Frank had been so sure that Gerard would have left, even though this was his house, so Frank had no idea where he would have gone, but still, seeing Gerard sitting in front of him caused a blossom of hope to unfurl in Frank's chest. Gerard hadn't abandoned him, even though he could have - he should have, but he was still here, and Frank suddenly felt unworthy of the love Gerard so selfless gave him, but he wanted to try and be good enough for Gerard, and he was going to start right now.

Frank took a second to observe Gerard unnoticed, taking in the delicate way he brought the spoon to his mouth, how his long fingers wrapped around the object casually, and even though this was an everyday occurrence, and watching Gerard eat wasn't anything special, it was to Frank, because he loved this man so much, and something as menial as this had become so important ever since Frank had learned of his condition.

Gerard looked tired, and he was still in the same clothes he had been wearing last night, which meant that he probably hadn't left the house; if anything, he had most likely spent his time away from Frank downstairs, but Frank really didn't care if he had taken off or not, because he was back now, and that was all that mattered.

"Hey," Frank whispered quietly, taking another step toward his boyfriend tentatively.

Gerard's head whipped up suddenly, and the soft smile he graced Frank with had his heart fluttering rapidly in his chest, but Gerard quickly broke the moment by jumping to his feet and rushing over to Frank's side, abandoning his half eaten bowl of cereal in the process.

"How are you feeling - are you sure you should be up? Just wait here for a second, I'm going to grab the thermometer," Gerard rambled, pressing the back of his hand to Frank's forehead in an attempt to gauge his internal temperature.

"No Gerard, I'm fine - okay? I'm pretty sure my fever is gone," Frank sighed, trying to tamp down the sudden blossom of irritation that had been brought on by Gerard's words. Frank knew that Gerard was just worried about him, but this nursemaid routine was getting really old, and Frank wanted to focus on something besides his health for two minutes.

"Gee - stop...please? Can we just sit down for a little, maybe talk?" Frank asked, grabbing onto Gerard's wrist with a firm grip to stop him from darting upstairs, making sure to avoid his injured arm.