Unsent Messages

4/2/15

4/2/15 6:26 a.m

Its been a month now the last time we talked. Im still not okay. I want you here by my side. I want to cry on your shoulders. I need you and you dont need me. You said its better for us not to talk to each other for me not to get hurt and be happy. Kung alam mo lang. Kung alam mo lang kung gano ko kagusto bumalik yung dati. I really really want to talk to you the days you're with asdfghjkl. Let's say, im jealous. Yes, i am vvv jealous. Kasi naiisip ko what if i did not fucked up. Edi sana ako yun. Edi sana chinecheer up paren kita until now. Edi sana i still had the time to show you how much i care about you. I remember nung last day nung dismissal sa circular papunta kami ni asdfg sa ramp and you're going to the opposite direction. Umalis na ko kaagad bc alam kong mag huhug na kayo. And its going to be vvv awkward and hahahah. Yes, im jealous. Im jealous they could make you happy and ako? I cant. Im sorry i didn't show you how much i care about you nung mga araw na okay pa tayo. Puro salita lang ako. I cant even go near to you. Idk, bc im weak?? Yah, im weak. Maybe thats the same reason why i cant reach out to you. I know im not capable of your ideal. Tbh, nung na attached ako sayo, idrc if u also have feelings for me. Idrc for what we had. What matters is that ur happy that im keeping you company. Na you're taking good care of yourself. Gustong gusto kong mag reach out sayo pero, ik it will never be the same and alam kong you dont care about me na and baka hindi ka na ren mageffort na kausapin ako. Kahit naman makahanap ako ng kapalit mo or what so ever, i still love you and i still care about you. Hindi naman na magbabago yun. Na kahit andami ng tao andiyan for me, no one could ever give the happiness you gave to me. the feelings you gave to me. That you're the only one who has the right words to say when im down. Na kahit gano pa kagaling mag romanticize ng words kesa sayo, you still have the ability to keep me calm down. During the day, i have friends to keep me preoccupied but during the night, im left alone wanting you to be there for me kahit na survive ko day ko na di ka nakakausap, a big part of me is still missing. Yknow what from january to march, i watch you from a far. Sa classroom lagi kitang tinitingnan if you're okay. I guess masaya ka naman pag kasama sila asdfgh, so im happy naren that way. Pero alam ko some of the times na pag uwi mo bigla nalang mawawala yun, magiging sad ka nalang. Call me a stalker but ill find ways to know how was your day. Im thankful andiyan si ate d for you. I hope that na may nag g-goodnight paren sayo and ask how was your day and may nag reremind paren sayo na you're good enough etc. oh yah, yung promise naten. Idk, sana nagagawa mo, please. I love you so much. Im still trying to recover. Im still working out not to be a human dependent. Im happy vvv happy n and m came into my life. That way, i could escape from the thought of missing you. From the thought of you. Im still working things out. Believe me, i know how to fix myself. But not my problems and being a human dependent. I love you. Forever and always.