Flesh of Wires

Waking up

...

I opened my eyes, possibly for the first time. I don't remember where I am, or how I got here. It's cold, quiet. I remember how to move and assess my surroundings, though I cant recall learning how. I know my name is AM12 and yet I have no memory of who told me so.

It's scary, not knowing anything. Not knowing how you know the things you do.
I turn my gaze around the room slowly. A hospital room, maybe? No, something's much too odd about this place. There's tools hanging, and screens covering the wall farthest from me. Where am I?

I look down at my own hands with a sense of confusion. My fingers, cold and hard. I tap them together, the soft sound of metal tinking only furthers my concern. This is not right, is it? Surely my hands weren't always like this? Why can't I seem to remember..

After a moment, I slip off the bed I was on. though, upon further inspection; it was more of a hard, metal surface. How am I just now realizing?

It feels weird to stand. not necessarily difficult, just the ground against my feet feeling so foreign, like I'd never once stood. I know I have, I had to have. Afterall, I know how to walk just fine?

I walk around the room, looking at the various objects around me. I have no clue what any of this is for. The room is dark, though everything I look at is clear to see. Was that normal, was it always like that?

The sound of the door knob turning grabs my attention. I feel curious but also an almost sense of fear. Why would I be scared? I have no reason to be. I hate this, why are my body and mind not working together.

The door opens and I see a tall, older looking man. He had tired looking eyes, a permanent frown, and messy black hair combed back. Wearing a Long white coat and holding a clipboard, he seemed startled to see me.

"You're- you're awake.." He said, I could hear the disbelief in his tone.

I am awake. Why is that such a surprise, should I not be?..

"Yes I-"

"You can speak??" The man interrupted me before I could respond.

Well I mean I can't if you won't let me..

"Yes, I can.. of course I can— where am I?.." I say quietly. This was weird. What happened? Was I in a coma or something?

"You're.. you're in a.." The man seemed to have trouble trying to find the right thing to say. "You're in a hospital.." He said finally.

A hospital? So I really was just sick or something? That makes so much sense, I'm so relieved. I thought it was something weird.

"Really? Why am I in a hospital? Did I get hurt?" I ask, I really wanted answers.

"Ah.." The man looked away. He looked as if he was trying to make something up, but that was probably just my head playing tricks on me. Why would he have to make anything up? "You uh.. you hit your head, really hard." The man said.

"Really? That must be why I can't remember anything— thanks for telling me." I said, relieved. Of course, that was a reasonable explanation. I'll ignore the man's weird expression.

"Yes yes! But you, you're still in no condition to move so you should go ahead and just lay back down, yeah?" He said, gesturing to that table again.

"Ah.. why uh.. why was I on a table exactly?.. don't hospital usually have beds or something?.." I said, slightly confused.

"That's ah.. uh... because... we were about to perform surgery on you and you have to be on a table like that for it.."

Ah?..

"Why?.. was my injury that bad? I feel fine.." I said, this was kinda weird.. I moved my hand up to feel for some type of wound.

"You should go to bed, you're obviously not in the right state of mind." The man said. I wasn't? I felt fine..

"Ah uh.. well you're the doctor.." I mumbled, moving back over to the table.

"Yes— yes I am.. ah, get some rest." The man said, moving closer to push me onto my back. Which was kinda weird, I'm perfectly able to lay down on my own..
"Close your eyes." The man told me.

"Ok.." I said quietly, closing my eyes. I could hear the man leaving the room, the door closing with a click.

If I was really injured, it would probably be best to get some sleep.. but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't. I didn't feel tired. Not even a little. That was weird, right? In fact, I didn't feel anything, you'd think if I'd gotten hurt so badly I'd feel it.. maybe I was on some sort of medication? Yeah, that had to be it. There's no other explanation..

I kept my eyes closed, hoping that if I pretended to sleep long enough I'd end up doing it for real.

I really hope.. I don't know why, but the idea that it won't work, it scared me. Why? Why am I scared. Why do I feel like there's something I know but don't want to believe..

That's ridiculous. It's as the doctor said, I'm not in the right state of mind. I got hurt, I hit my head.

I seemed to be repeating that to myself as I tried to fall asleep.

It feels like it's been hours.

I'm still not tired.