Sitting here, alone on a Friday night, it really gets me thinking... will it always be this way?
Am I too far gone for someone to actually love me?
Are my scars too ugly to stand?
Am I ever going to be good enough?
Guess not.
My story and my marks are here, and youre not.
At least my ugly past stays at my side.
Because noone else ever will.
Who I am now is too much for your heavy heart to carry.
My world would break your back.
Just goes to show im a little stronger than you.
But not by much.
My will to be on this Earth is going on srtong,
while yours is withering away.
My past will not drag me to Hell, or lift me to heaven.
But my life will carry on, while your stuck in the mud.
How does it feel to know youre drowning and theres nothing you can do? Is there pain?
Or is everything numb?
Nothing would be the same except for the pressure. The feeling of the world pressing down on yo. Never lightening up, never giving in.
Always pushing.
And all you can do id drown.
Watching all your family and friends slowly forget about you, everyones life changing back to normal.
And your stuck.
Drowning.
Not in water, but in sorrow.
Youre eyes lose their shine.
Youre smile is forced.
Youre turned away by youre friends, because they think your insane.
Theres noone there.
Then, you lose feeling. Everyday is the same thing.
Wake up. Survive. Go to bed.
Thats all you ever want to do. You feel like everything you do has no meaning. All you do in school is sit there and pretend your listening.
But your not.
Youre still drowning.
When youre home, everything is different then it used to be. Youre family doesnt include you, you parents ignore you, so you go in your room and hide.
Youre afraid because even when the pain is there, you still hate everything.
The pain doesnt hurt anymore.
Theres nothing you can do anymore.
But drown.
When you reach the bottom, and you hit the rocks and feel them stabbing you in the back, think of all the people who stabbed you in the back.
When you open youre eyes, you see light, but its far away. Its too far to reach.
All you want to do is reach for it, but your drowning. The only thing left is the pressure.
Its all you know now.
Its holding you down, pinning you to the rocks.
You want to breathe, but you cant.
Because it would hurt you.
And as you lay there, on the bottom, you think, you really think.
You ask yourself if you think someone cares enough to save you, pull you out of the water, off the rocks, away from the pressure.
Noone comes.
So youre stuck.
Drowning.
Everything is about to end. And theres nothing stopping you know.
Cause noone ever cared.
Because all along, you were drowned.
But only this, time.
Its real.
Beacause you realize people only care if your pretty or dead.
So being dead will make people care.
So you drown.
But still, noone cares.
Youre just a memory, floating, lifeless, gone.
Dead.
Drowned.
Never coming back.
