The moment Satoru dreaded for years had come.Suguru is dying.He is now lying on the ground,leaning on the wall while looking up to Satoru with a gaze mixed with acceptance and vulnerability,expecting Satoru's last words after his losing battle as he clutches his stomach in pain.
He was supposed to bring Suguru to jujutsu high after their fight so the higher ups could execute him but Satoru had secretly decided to kill him himself out of selfishness and for another reason.
All those bottled up feelings that he had kept for years,feelings he had recognised a long time ago since childhood.
Shouldn't he express those feelings?
Shouldn't those three simple words be the last Suguru should hear?
Think about all those times you have wanted to kiss him.
Think about all those times you have wanted to say those words.
If you don't say them,how would Suguru ever know?
He decided this would be the time he confesses after all these years,he refuses to let Suguru die a painful death alone.
.
.
He slowly bent down to crouch down to Suguru's eye level,his ocean blue eyes meeting obsidian black.You can do this.You have to. He took a deep breath,sweat beading on his forehead as his hand starts to tremble from nervousness.Shit.
Suguru looked ethereal even in his last moments.His kimono was torn but it was wrapped perfectly around his waist , soaked with crimson red with his jet-back hair splayed over his broad shoulders in soft streaks . In another universe ,perhaps they would be together as..something more.
"I.."
He reached to place a hand under Suguru's chin but it stopped between them , shaking before quickly retreating back to his side.His and Suguru's heartbeat quickens.
Suguru lets out a confused noise which only serves to make him more nervous.
Words felt like chains wrapping against his throat.A bit of him feels a twinge of regret for confessing his love so late when he could all this time.
The chains kept tightening,Satoru feels himself choking while he stares at Suguru with longing.
"I l—"
"I love you." He finally whispered after an eternity , his voice shaky and raw. He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.
What's need to be said have finally been said.
.
.
Suguru?
Silence filled the air as if everything was frozen. Suguru widened his eyes in shock but it was quickly masked away, what was he thinking about?
Yet..after those words escaped his lips,he didn't feel relieved at all .This wasn't what he wanted.
All he felt was a strange uneasiness in his heart— a black void swallowing him whole.Everything felt so wrong,he felt like this shouldn't be Suguru's last moments.No.
I don't want him to die,I want to be with him.
"..At least curse me a little at the end."Suguru chuckled softly . A bittersweet smile appeared on his face,a smile that could bring anyone on their knees, especially Satoru.His eyes crinkled up but deep down, Satoru knew that he truly wasn't happy, eyes don't lie.Suguru wanted more.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
"B-but.."What does he do now?
Each heartbeat thumped like a drum, urging him to do something else,something so selfish that could endanger all of the non-sorcerers.
"Satoru?"
Fuck.
How much more selfish could he be?He's supposed to be the strongest,protecting everyone even if it meant sacrifices has to be made,it's his duty after all.
But Suguru is too dear to him.
He loves him too much.
Tears began to well into his eyes,his vision blurred with overwhelming affection and conflict. He was running into a brick wall with nowhere to hide.
But he knows he has to do something, anything to have Suguru in his hands.
"Satoru.."
Suguru's voice was barely a whisper as he brought his hands to cradle Satoru's face,rubbing his cheek in soft circles in hopes of comforting him.His heart was beating just as fast as Satoru's , he had so much to say but now's not the right time.
"You have to..I deserve it."He whispered again,his hands moving to cup his face instead.
He pressed his forehead against Satoru's,their breaths mingling.
"I can't..,"He sobbed in responce,tears dripping onto his and Suguru's clothes.Why was life so unfair to him?he just wanted to be happy — just this once.
Since childhood,he had always been pressured by the Gojo clan. From mission to mission , he has to make the best decision.
It's alright to make a bad design once.
Right?
"Even if you don't kill me,I won't change my plans."Suguru warns,of course he knows Satoru the best.How couldn't he when they're inseparable?
A couple minutes of silence engulfed them once again until he finally made up his mind. Suguru's more important than everyone else.
"I don't care anymore," He mutters finally , his voice hoarse from all the sobbing.
"I want to be yours,even if it's just for one night , no matter the cost." Satoru confesses , giving him a gentle smile in reassurance even though he will face the risk of death , having to defend the world for their forbidden love.
Suguru sighs in responce, he knows that there's no way in persuading Satoru after he's made up his mind. He's so stupid.. I can't believe I still love this idiot.
Suguru have always seen him and Satoru's relationship as something else. Friends don't defy the world for eachother nor do they secretly meet eachother in the dark at times where they shouldn't be seen. Even when they're away, they always yearn for eachother. Thats why although him and Satoru have separated , they couldn't resist the urge to see eachother .
But what if he dies because of me? His eyes widen again in concern.
He was about to try to protest Satoru's decision when rough hands wrapped around his body and Satoru lifts him off the ground in one quick swoop.
"I know what you're thinking about. Let's get your wounds treated first, we'll talk later." Satoru mutters,holding him tight against his chest.
