"I'm calling you."

I : The monday it all started.

Highschool. Everyone has an attachement to their highschool years, whether talking about good memories, life altering situations, or despising those years. 

I, Lorelai Windham, still have not finished highschool. in fact i'm in my sophomore year, i will finally get out of this hellhole soon, just one more year.  

But recently , my world has been noticing a small shift. My first highschool crush. 

Jacob Hillard,the only guy i respect in my school. 

He's smart, calm, handsome, sweet, and respectful. but there's one thing i absolutely hate about him. 

How nonchalant he is. 

Me and him have been classmates since last year, but i never tried to hold a conversation with him, we simply ignored the other's existence. but this year, i felt like something had changed. 

it all happened on a monday. the day it all started. 

we were in the same group, working on a project together. i just constantly had this urge to talk to him, make him look at me, make him acknowledge my existence. i even asked for his instagram, hoping we'd talk more. but alas, he did not give me the time of his day. 

Some days, it feels like we're close friends, like we're finally getting somewhere, but the very next day, it's like we're strangers again. it's like we've never even spoken like we don't even know each others names. and it all makes me feel like giving up, but those days where we talk make me feel like i'm at the top of the world. 

i've even started to sit closer to him, just so i could talk to him,just so i could see him smile, even if it's for a mere second. i'm a lost cause. 




We were in class, him sitting at the desk right next to me. My friend Stacy noting down what was on the board. I didn't bother, i knew she'd send it to me when we get home. I look at him and notice how he also wasn't writing down the lesson. I try to steal a few glances, praying to the lord that he looks back at me, but as usual, he doesn't. It's just another day for him. He doesn't really care if i'm here or not. 

"Jacob." I say, gathering my courage to talk to him. He looks back at me, finally. "Can you tell me if my answer is right ?" I lean a little closer, showing him my paper. He looks at it and nods, going back to do what he was doing. 

Moments like these make me regret the fact that i can feel love, and the fact that i've fallen for him instead of anyone else.  

Stacy noticed the fact that I looked like a kicked puppy and sighed, putting her hand on my shoulder. "it's okay, he's a scumbag anyways." 

Stacy hated Jacob, always having this rivalry with him. But the thing was, she and Jacob actually liked each other last year, they just never dated, and somehow they became rivals. Stacy has told me about this before i even started liking him, but deep inside, i still feel like he likes her, which makes things even harder for me. 

But i get it, Stacy is insanely pretty. Heck, i'd pick her over me any day. Which honestly only adds to my insecurity but i gotta accept the fact that she's just that girl. 


"oh shut up, i don't even want to like him, but it's stronger than me" which was the truth. i didn't want to like him at all. it all just...happened, and it makes me upset. 

Winter isn't supposed to be the season of love, but here i am, falling for a cold boy in this cold season. doing my best to try and warm his heart, but all my efforts are lukewarm. as if i'm talking to an AI. will this ever change ?


i hope so, even if it ends with me heartbroken.