CHINCHIKURIN!! X reader request

**Haruma Neko 💛 X gender neutral!reader**

_Salt, pain, and all things insane (Angst), and hurt with comfort (he's doing his best)_
Reader and Haruma have a similar past,  but both are too stubborn to talk or get help about it. Reader eventually breaks down and Haruma tries to help. That's what I got.

"Stop it, Hold still."
Haruma would mutter out, his voice smooth and deep with a hint of irritation. As if he were losing his patience. He'd stare down at your wounded arm, his eyes sharp with focus. Carefully undoing the dirty bandages that covered them. His jaw would clench as he'd bite his tongue. Refraining from pressing for questions. It's not like you'd answer.
You'd shift uncomfortably, the sound of the worn leather couch furrowing against your body would be the only thing that could be heard in the silent house. Your movement would earn an aggravated glance from Haruma. You wouldn't notice it though, your eyes being fixated on the window outside. The sky would be dark, what could've been a captivating sunset, with orange and purple hues is now fully grey from the dreary clouds that blanket it.  While Toru and Haruma would usually wait until nightfall to light the candles, Haru has now lit every single one, the dim shaky flames heightening the shadows. Falling along the dark crevices of the worn-out wood along the walls.
You'd jerk your arm away from Haru once his thumb would lightly brush against your injury. Your eyes watering from the pain as you looked at it. The skin around it being bright red, your entire arm felt as if it were throbbing in pain. Haru would let out a heavy sigh, his hands dropping down to his thighs.
"If you're just going to pull away why'd you come here for help?"
It took you a minute to answer. Your face would scrunch up in a grimace. Your breath shakes as you let out slow gusts. Beads of sweat glistening your forehead.
"I don't know." is all you'd manage to wince out.
He'd say nothing else, reaching inside the bag that sat beside the couch and grabbing a couple of wads of cotton. Along with some ointment. Hastily pouring some onto one of the wads and dabbing it along your gash. You tense up, the sensation being uncomfortable and unfamiliar. It felt like your arm was warming up and numbing at the same time. The scent of the ointment burns your nose.
"You didn't even bother stitching it back together?" he'd start again, his eyes trailing back up to yours expectingly. Continuing to press over your wound carefully.
"It's on my dominant arm..." You mumble through soft sups. Watching Haru carefully as he'd carefully take out a needle and broad black thread. Gradually pierce the line through before pressing it carefully at the edge of your tear, weaving through it skillfully and precisely as if he had done this plenty before. His gaze not averting even for a moment.
You'd quickly turn your head away, watching yourself get stitches but not feeling it already is making you queasy.
"You aren't gonna tell me how this happened?"
"Nope." you'd answer softly, wetting your lips as you looked back out the far-off window,  watching the trees and paved dirt path get darker and darker as the sun began to disappear.
"So stubborn...you won't talk to the person patching you up." he'd state coldly, his voice polluted with venom.
"Funny hearing that from you. You still haven't told anyone your real name."
He'd finish the stitching, moving back to look at you, your eyes and head still turned away. Knowing his poisonous stare would be enough to embarrass you. He'd snatch the gauze wrap out of the bag. His eyes not leaving you until he'd begun to wrap your arm. The bind is tight against your stitching. Though you'd still hardly feel it with that ointment still taking its effect.
Having your cut completely dressed you stand up to leave, grabbing your things as you turn for the door. Feeling a firm hand wrap around your wrist stopping you at your tracks. You'd let out a quiet sigh, murmuring under your breath as you'd look back at him. His expression remains the same, causing you to already get that sinking feeling of regret in your stomach.
"I never expected you to be so pushy, if I wanted to be interrogated I would've gone to someone else." You'd scoff, attempting to pull your arm away to no avail. Your words seemed to have a bigger effect on him than you thought. His eyes softened for a moment before returning to the way they were.
"Did you do this to yourself?"
"No."
"So someone else did it?"
"Drop it Haruma," you'd manage to squeak out, your voice breaking through your words.
You are not about to cry in front of him, or anyone. You'd pull away once again, it'd still do you no good. His arm would hardly move at all. You were almost ashamed you even tried.
"Who in this village would even do such a thing?" you turned away again, being able to hold his stare. Watching as your vision begins to blur from the tears.
His voice would lower to a whisper, seeing how easily you seem to crumble at the moment. Gently tugging to back and holding your shoulders.
"You tell me, if you protect them this could happen again. Only worse."
You'd stare forward at his neck and chest, swallowing thickly as you try blinking the tears away.
"Y/n, look at me."
"Why are you so-"
"Look at me."
You'd hesitantly look up into his eyes, his look of worry somehow being more painful than the one of bitterness. Your face would flush up, sniffling as your tears would pour down your cheeks. Your throat tightens up, almost stinging as you swallow.
"What happened...?"
It'd take you a while to respond, hoping if you waited long enough he'd give up. But Haruma was persistent. He wasn't letting you off the hook like that.
"...I'm tired, of getting hurt. I'm so tired." you'd start, your voice shaking and gasping between your words.
"It hasn't stopped, it'll always be like this for me. I just want to rest. I want to be comfortable..."
He'd slowly move one of his arms around your waist, pulling you in and squeezing your body in a gentle hug. You'd practically melt over him, sinking into the hug as you hold his bulky figure. Resting your head on his shoulder as you'd feel his hand rub along your back. A part of you wonders how you managed to receive such tenderness from someone like him. Someone who's known for their cold and distant nature.
Maybe he knows how similar you two are.
You'd listen to him gulp, his neck moving with a subtle vibration as he spoke.
"You could be comfortable here."
"Could I?"
He'd respond with a short hum, moving his hand up as he'd lightly pet your head.
"Why not?"
"It'd be crowded, I'd take up your living room."
"Just sleep in my room."
You'd pull away from the hug, looking up at Haruma with a concerned face. Nervously moving the stray hair out of your face as you'd speak through your hoarse voice.
"Kicking you and Sutera out hardly seems right..."
"We'll just sleep together."
Silence fills the room. Only the sounds of wind grazing the leaves from the outside could be heard. He'd clear his throat, his eyes looking off to the side as he'd rub his neck uncomfortably.
"It'll just be to save space."
You'd quickly nod, brushing your previous thoughts aside. Haruma never seemed the type to take advantage of someone like this. You do trust him, he may be a bit rude at times but he is a good person.
"I know..."
You'd look off into the hallway, staring at his rooms door. Shut tightly and possibly locked. You haven't seen this inside of it before. He always seemed to be very protective of his privacy.
"Why are you helping me?" you'd look back at him, your voice quiet as you'd stare at him intently. Waiting for a reply. He seemed to struggle a bit with an answer, pausing here and there as he tried to reply. Ultimately just giving you a simple shrug. Changing the topic pretty quickly after.
"Have you eaten already? I'll make something for you when Toru comes back, go settle in." He'd walk off and grab a silver key from one of the counters in the kitchen, tossing it to you to unlock his door. Staring out the kitchen window as he'd watch Nora approach the house, already beginning to fix a bottle for Sutera.
You'd look down at the keys, guess that was the end of that...
As Nora would start to walk inside with the most cheerful baby you've ever seen, you'd make your way into Haruma's room. You didn't want anyone else seeing you when you were so vulnerable. Quietly you'd unlock his door stepping inside, immediately you'd notice the room smells exactly like him. An odd scent to describe, like a mix between tobacco and leather. His bed looked fairly clean, the sheets and blankets scrunched up. His pillows scrambled but fluffed up just right. There would be clothes tossed to the side, next to a half-full laundry basket. Next to the basket would be a desk, the surface covered in papers and school work. It would also have pieces of flint and deer antlers resting over the papers. Small things he found while hunting.
You'd sit down on the cushiony mattress creaking under you. The nightstand would have baby wipes and baby powder, you'd lean down slowly, reaching for one of the drawers and slowly opening it up. The inside would have an unloaded pistol, along with an old journal. The cover is written with a name you don't recognize. It looks like it belongs to a child. Before you could pick it up you'd hear footsteps get closer in the hallway, causing you to immediately shut the drawer back qns sit upright on the bed.
Haruma would step in with Sutera in his arms.
His attention quickly going back to you as he'd shut the door behind him, you could tell he already suspected you've done something. Maybe your body language gave it away.
Regardless he'd sit Sutera down, the small infant looking at you with a smile as she'd reach her tiny hands out. You'd hold one hand over her and would let her grab it, squeezing your fingers with all her strength. Which was a lot more powerful than you would've thought. She's very healthy, clearly because she has a father who adores her. She'd cackle, as she tried putting one of your fingers in her mouth, you couldn't help but grin at her. Her laugh is rather contagious.
"I just gave her some milk, she should fall asleep soon." Haruma would whisper, crawling on to the bed and flopping down with a long sigh. Resting his eyes as you'd continue to play with the baby. Lightly tickling her neck and stomach. Her face would be red as she'd laugh her little heart out.
He'd open his eyes back up and watch you two carefully. Adjusting the pillow under him.
"Don't hype her up too much now. She'll be up all night."
You'd pull your hand away as you lean back on one of the pillows, a content smile still on your face.
"Sorry...how long am I supposed to stay?"
"As long as you need to."
"What about my stuff.."
"We can grab everything you need in the morning."
"My family..."
He'd sit up, propping hims up with his arms. He seemed tired like he wanted to have this conversation when he woke up. His sleepy eyes would seem to light up a bit.
"Were they the reason you were cut up?"
You'd turn back away, staring up at the ceiling saying nothing else. Closing your eyes to try and get some rest. Haru would take the hint and lay back down as well, cuddling with Sutera as she'd begin to yawn.
"Hey Haruma?"
"Hm."
"Thank you."
A small smile would creep on to his lips, his eyes still shut as he'd begin to doze off.
"Sure."