Between Subtle Beginnings

This is a work of fiction. Any relation to the actual person dead or alive, places, events, locales etc are all unintentional. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means whatsoever without express written permission from the author.

Errors are to be expected.

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Redirection leads to new beginnings, heartaches, and failures. A chapter that is surely a wild goose chase.

***

"Results are finally out..."

I headed to my room and locked myself upon hearing what my siblings were discussing. I felt my stomach churned as I opened my laptop—maneuvered to the website for the list of passers.

My phone was vibrating but I paid no attention to his call, I intended to see it for myself. I intended to know the result—to read my name through my eyes.

The site was lagging, it was frustrating as my gripped around the mouse tightened while I silently prayed to see what I wanted to see.

It was dreadful, I couldn't breathe properly and it felt like my lungs were encased from air. I closed my eyes, and silently prayed as the world seemed to start fading before my eyes.

Please... please make my sacrifices worth it. Make it so worth it that I never regret giving up what I was about to have. Make it so worth it that my cries will not turn to regrets. Make it so worth it... that I will be so happy that I decided on choosing what caused me to question my rationality.

As I opened my eyes, the lists of passers were flashed on the screen, and each second felt so slow as I scroll the page down to the last one—all while ignoring all the noises from my surroundings.

Dear God, please make me see what I wanted to see.