Homestuck oneshots - temp break, might come back? (11/27/24)

NeVeR sAy NeVeR

Gamzee x Faygo 

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 cww : bottle play, one person (gettin' freaky), other characters as wwell (like 2), in the shower

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I think my friend and I wwhere both no somethin' when wwritin' this

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art by me

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It was a normal day like no other. Gamzee had made some soper slim and was chilling on his husk top chatting it up with his best bro. Gamzee didn't quite remember how the topic had changed to shower, and yet, it had.

CG : YOU NEED TO SHOWER.

TC : WeLl I wOuLd BeSt FrIeNd, BuT, i DoN't KnOw HoW :o(

CG : SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY I'M PALEMATES WITH YOU

CG : NO, FUCK THAT.
CG : I'M ALWAYS WONDERING WHY I'M PALEMATES WITH YOU.

CG : YOU ARE A TOTAL DISGRACE.

TC : NuH uH :o(

CG : OH WE ARE SO NOT PLAYING THAT GAME. DON'T EVEN.

TC : CrAcK a CoLd OnE kArBrO

TC : No NeEd FoR aLl ThAt NeGiTiViTy

CG : LIKE HELL I'M GOING TO DRINK ONE OF YOUR STUPID ASS FAYGO THINGS YOU CALL A 'SODA'.

TC : WhOa MaN

TC : DoN't DiSs ThE fAyGo TiLl YoU mOtHeRfUcKiNg TrY iT

TC : HoNk HoNk HoNk :o)

CG : ANYWAYS.

CG : WHAT WE WERE ORIGINALLY TALKING ABOUT.

CG : SHOWERS.

CG : YOU NEED ONE.
CG : BAD.

TC : BuTtTtTtTtT kArBrOoOoOoO :o(

CG : NOPE, YOU NEED ONE.

TC : CaN i At LeAsT bRiNg A fAyGo WiTh Me :o(

CG : UHG. YES. HYPOTHETICALLY YOU COULD BRING FAYGO WITH YOU.

TC : YaAaAaAaAaAaY!! :o)

—[carcinoGeneticist sent terminallyCapricious a file named : HOW TO SHOWER, FOR AN IDIOT.]—

TC : ThAt SeAmS.. fAiRlY eAsY?

CG : IT IS.

CG : AND THAT'S WHY RATIONAL TROLLS, LIKE MYSELF, SHOWER AT LEAST 2-3 TIMES A WEEK.

TC : KaRbRo, YoU aRe NoT rAtIoNaL, rEmEmBeR yOuR mEmOs?

CG : ...GO TAKE A SHOWER.

TC : SiGgGhHh OkAy

—[terminallyCapricious stopped trolling carcinoGeneticist at 12:04 p.m.]—

Gamzee walks to the nearby bathroom, mocking Karkat the whole walk,

"MeH mEh, TaKe A sHoWeR, yEaH rIgHt"

He enters the bathroom, turning on the shower and taking off his clothes, then he realizes he forgot his Faygo.

He puts his clothes back on loosely and runs towards his room to grab his Faygo, or at least tries but ends up running straight into Karkat, knocking both of them down.

"DUDE WHAT THE FUCK," Karkat attempted to say calmly, but it's Karkat, he's always yelling, "SLOW DOWN."

"I lEfT mY fAyGo :o( *sad honk*" whines Gamzee as he runs past Karkat to grab his bottles of Faygo.

He succeeded in acquiring his Faygo, but the warm water was running out so he darts back to the bathroom, forgetting to remove his clothes because he's a fucking idiot and left his husktop in his room. Yet he still gets in the shower fully clothed with his Faygo and realizes he did something wrong.

He once again removes his clothes, but then just stands in the water trying to remember what to do, like an idiot. He takes a sip of his Faygo, then sits down in the tub, head completely empty with no sign of any brain cells. Sometimes people wondered if he ever had any.

Gamzee and his 1 brain cell, that most people didn't realize he had; and hey, even if you have one it doesn't mean it's filled with anything. But still, they tried remembering what to do in the shower. He attempted to eat the soap but then bleh'd it all out, a big mistake on his part. He tried drinking the shower water but that felt wrong. Shower itself felt so wrong to him. So he eventually just sat down in the lukewarm water as it continued cooking as he used up the water.

He had just finished his first bottle of Faygo and started messing around with it, throwing it around and filling it with water, until he tried something new. He stuck his bulge into the neck of the bottle, and he felt it was silly, but the thing got fucking stuck because of the stimulation and Gamzee started freaking out, thinking he was stuck. Eventually he calmed down and got it off, but the water all of a sudden felt hot again, which was weird because he's been in the shower for almost an hour now. But he looks at the shower wall and sees bright purple illuminating off the shiny walls and realizes that the water isn't hot, he's just blushing.

After seeing himself in the shiny shower walls, his cheeks illuminating a bright purple, Gamzee decided to give into temptation. He grabs his other, full Faygo bottle and begins to insert it into his nook. As he slides it inside of him it reaches the spot and he immediately falls to the base of the tub.

"HoLy FuCk, ThAt'S nEw..."

As he continues he feels his purple bulge wriggle around. He grabs the bulge and starts straight jorkin it, the compounding feeling causing his head to fall back. His hand starts getting boring so he grabs his empty Faygo bottle and slips it on his purple bulge, using it as a DIY fleshlight.

He continues, at a varying pace, to maximize pleasure. Just as he is about to release his load, a vivid image of his good bro Tavros flashes in his mind, giving him the courage to release his purple splooge. The viscous purple liquid spraying the inside of the bottle around his bulge and squirting past the bottle in his nook, still covering most of the tub.

"DiD i JuSt BuSt A nUt To My GoOd BrO?" murmured Gamzee, "I mEaN hE's MoThErFuCkInG hOt, I cAn'T bLaMe MySeLf."

Gamzee then turns off the shower, dries himself off, and changes into the same clothes he was wearing prior.

As he leaves the bathroom, his hair wet, making Karkat guess he actually took a shower, but his stench was still rancid.

CG : GAMZEE DID YOU EVEN TRY TO TAKE A SHOWER

TC : OoPs, I gOt DiStRaCtEd By MoThErFuCkInG fAyGo

CG : YOU FUCKING IDIOT

TC : WeLl I hAvE aN iNcEnTiVe To ShOwEr NoW

CG : WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

TC : I dEfInAtElY dIdN't SeT uP a FaYgO dRiNk FoUnTaIn...

CG : WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH Y-

end

Epilogue:

After the whole events of this entire scenario, Gamzee talks to Tavros about his feelings, Tavros surprisingly accepts. Then the door is locked and you can tell what happened from there.

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credits :

eridan (me) and feferi (my friend) ==> for writin' the fic

The Huss ==> for the characters