Stuck At The 9th Step

CHAPTER 54 : CHILDHOOD MEMORIES

"We'll see." Rex said with uncertainty. I fight the urge to punch him. The asshole must be numb or we simply don't have the same wavelengths for him to understand my logic. I thought he's smart. I wonder if Ryan and Rex will answer the same thing. Hindi ko na dinagdag ang huling tanong ko.

They stayed in the hospital for three days. They offered to let me stay in their home which I politely declined. I didn't want to intrude further. I fight the urge to ask for more details. I was trying to kill my curiosity by living afar from them, and dying to know Rhea's condition at the same time. On my fifth day in New Zealand, Ryan pay me a visit.

"I thought you change your mind." I crossed my arms and leaned my back on the wall. Ryan sat on a single couch. Halata ang pagiging problemado.

"I didn't. I changed my plans due to. . ." He didn't finish the sentence and just shook his head.

"What's the difference?"

"Kailangan ko bumalik sa New York. I only have 3 days left."

I frowned. "Who will stay with your sister?"

"Papa might stay for a month. Rex already left yesterday. He'll come back in three weeks. Naka-schedule ang flight namin ni Roy sa Friday."

I didn't trust myself to speak back because the words in my head are willfully meant to offend him. I grinned sarcastically. I thought they were different. I've stayed with Rhea's brothers for years and I even thought they are a good replacement to my real brothers because I fucking consider them like one. But I guess I was wrong and that made me pity Rhea at the greatest extent. Hindi ba alam ng mga taong 'to kung ano ang sinasayang nila?

Don't get me wrong. They are still my friends. Nothing much have changed. I just realized that their family aren't as ideal as what I thought. There were flaws. Ang buong akala ko ay matatag sila. Yung klase ng pamilya na malayo sa kinalakihan ko. I was wrong. May kaunting pagkakapareho rin pala.

"How is she?" Hindi ko napigilang magtanong.

"Coping up. Nakakausap na namin kahit papaano. Ayaw niyang manatili nang masmatagal sa ospital. Ayaw niya na ring magpa-check up."

"You should've forced her. It's for her own sake." I snapped. That was one stupid suggestion, I know.

"We can't. We're afraid. Baka suicidal pa rin siya. We're still thinking a better plan. Sa ngayon, wala pa kaming desisyon. Papa wants to take her back in the Phil. Ayoko naman pumayag dahil baka mas lalong hindi makabuti sa kanya." His face grim. "We never thought na aabot sa ganito. I've never seen my sister that helpless."

I didn't want to conclude, nor assume. There will always be a better version of the story and the one who've been on that situation is the best person who can narrate it. That's only Rhea. I wanted to hear it from her. Though, forcing her to speak up was out of my idea. I just want to dig deeper. Malaman ang masmalalim na parte ng kwento.

"May I see her?"

He sighed as he leaned on his seat. "Actually, she was asking for you. I never thought she'll get attached to you."

I stiffened. I never thought she would ask for me after the little conversation we had on the hospital. That piece of information brings warmness inside me. The things she could make me feel without inserting much effort. Such an unusual emotion. I think I'm going crazy.

I couldn't explain why I suddenly felt antsy before I enter her room. Maybe I was afraid she would remind me how foolish I had been when that promise slipped out of my mouth, or maybe because I don't want to witness more of her sufferings. There were a lot of ideas running into my head along with these stupid reasons. Habang dumadagdag ay mas bumibigat sa pakiramdam.