i hate being home...
i always never felt home. i always felt like i was only there so i could be used as a maid or a robot controlled to do only as told and i hate talking to my parents b/c whenever i say smth they don't like i get scolded or my thoughts get shut down and every time i have to go through that i feel like relapsing and killing myself i've been 5 months w/out self harming and i feel like relapsing any time i get called she/her or my dead name or both i haye feeling like this and it makes me wanna end it all i feel so shitty and so alone i feel uloved and useless and personally i don't think i'm going to make it past my 20's i feel like i'll hang myself at the age of 25 i hate when my friends move i hate myselfand especially hate when my dad gets mad he always yells at me and throws stuff making me scared i just hate my life and home b/c every time it get better it get worse...
