~+ Clean +~ •Lovertation•

~+ Chapter 7 +~

"Lover." She looked at me unconvinced.

I have a fake smile and pushed the plate forward, away from me.

She pushed it back.

"Eat the egg, lov, please, sweet girl," she asked softly.

I swallowed hesitantly.

"I... but..." I trailed off, looking at it.

All of those calories. I would gain like... a lot.

I couldn't.

"Sunshine, trust me. You need to nourish your body my love," she said, taking my hand.

I dropped it and buried my head in my hands, groaning.

She moved it to my back and rubbed my back.

I started to tear up. "I-I'm sorry," I said shakily.

"No. You're not allowed to say that. Not anymore." She told me strictly.

I sighed.

"Rep, I can't..." I pleaded.

"Yes you can. I'm right here. It's okay." She comforted.

I took my head out of my hands and stared at it in disgust.

I feel her grab my hand again and then I hear her start eating.

I take a deep breathe and willed myself to take a bite.

I could practically taste all of the fat, but forced myself to keep eating. For her.

I managed to finish a little over half of the scrambled egg before pushing it away and burying my head back in my hands.

Why did you do that? Do you know how fat you'll be now? Rep won't like you, no one will like someone like y-

And I got snapped out of my thoughts by someone pulling my hands away from my face gently.

"Hey pretty girl, don't cover that cute face of yours," Rep smiled at me.

I bit my lip, trying to keep myself from crying as all the emotions hit and all of the thoughts swirled.

It won't stop. Stop. STOP.

And then I started crying.

Rep picked me up and carried me to the couch.

I sobbed into her, my cries being slightly muffled by her shirt as she held me and scratched my head.

(Guys ik I put that a lot but ITS HOT AND COMFORTING OKAY)

Eventually my sobs quieted down and I just clung onto her, exhausted.

"You okay, darling?" She asked softly.

"...Dunno," I replied shakily, my voice quiet.

"Okay." She said back, her voice still soft.

I slumped against her and buried myself into her.

"Mm sorry..." I apologized guiltily.

"No," she shut me down quickly.

"Right, sor-" I started.

"No." She cut me off.

I went to open my mouth and say sorry again.

"No." She said quickly.

I sighed and tucked my head further into her neck, while she peppered soft kisses to the side of my head.

"Can we talk?" She asked softly.

I shrugged.

"Why'd you cry?" She asked.

"I dunno. Just emotional." I muttered.

"Okay. Is there a reason why you didn't wanna eat?" She asks softly again.

"I... um... yeah...?" I said hesitantly.

"Alright, enlighten me," she instructed.

"Well... I... um... I don't... wanna..." I started.

Don't expose it.

Why?

Cause then she'll leave.

But-

No.

But.. I have to tell her.

No you d-

"I don't wanna be ugly or fat..." I said softly, barely above a whisper.

I felt her tense slightly.

"Okay. You're not. Nothing will change how gorgeous you are, whether you gain weight or not." She comforted.

I just shrugged.

I got up and off her.

"Gotta go change..." I said.

I was still in my pajamas. She was dressed, I wasn't.

I went upstairs and took my hoodie off, then stared at the bandages I forgot I put on my arms.

Damn.

I put a different hoodie on and changed into some shorts, then went downstairs and sat back down next to rep.

She pulled me into her and I curled as close as I could.

It still wasn't close enough.

"S' not close enough," I muttered.

"Not close en- lover, you're literally on top of me. Not that I'm complaining." She added.

"But it's not close enoughhh," I whine with a frown.

"What, do you want to be under my skin? Whatdya mean, babe?" She asks with a chuckle.

"Mmm yeah, you have to get surgery now..." I said, halfway joking halfway serious.

"Mm," she hums humorously.

I sighed against her.

Welp, that's one of my secrets found out, please don't let her find out about the other one...

"Hey, lover?" She speaks up.

~+~+~
A/n: HAHAHAAHAH

IM DYINGGG HAHAHA