I will always love you (sterek)

Chapter 1

Stiles
I got out of the hot shower, making sure not to look at me in the mirror. Since I've gotten free from the nogitsune, I couldn't look at myself. I was a monster! I had killed people... Killed Allison and Aiden. I couldn't bare look at the pack anymore, not even Scott... I haven't talked to him, in over two weeks. I miss him that's for sure, but I just couldn't look at him. It was friday night, thank god! The pack was busy with training to night, so I could just stay at home. But I didn't stay home, I put my red hoodie on. Took the bottle of whiskey, my dad tried to hide. Took the keys to my jeep, and got out the door.

I drove to my mother's grave... And began drinking... "I miss you mom... I'm all alone... I just can't do it anymore. I want to be with you, dad is always working. I never get to see him... He don't even come in to my room, when I scream every night. I can't take it anymore... Why did you have to go?!!!" I screamed.

Derek
I was at my usual run... When I heard Stiles screaming. I ran to where his scream come from... He was visiting his mother's grave. I felt the sadness in him... I felt shamed... I should let him, be alone to grief... But I just couldn't bare, to see him so sad. So I hid behind a tree... Not much happend, Stiles just sat there... crying.
Suddenly he got up, and began to walk. I followed him, to the cliff. I heard him whisper... "Sorry daddy... I just can't do it anymore. I have to be with mom..." he said, his voice was shaking. I ran over to him, and cathed him... Before he got the chance to jump. He looked at me. "Why did you do that?" He asked. "I saved you. Why did you try to kill yourself?" I asked. I could smell the alcohol, on him... he was so drunk right now. He passed out... I scooped him up in my arms. And carried him to his jeep, I took the keys out of his pocket. And drove him home...
I put him on his bed, wondering What I should do. Why would he try to kill himself? He has a good life... he has friends who loved him. And his dad loved him. I went to Scott's place, maybe he knew why, Stiles tried killing himself.
Scott and Isaac were playing a video game when I got there. "Scott can I talk to you for a second?" I asked.

Stiles
I woke up 2:45 in the morning... Derek wouldn't let me die. Why? It's not like I mean anything to him... why couldn't he just let me die? I realized I was alone... Now I had the chance. My dad wouldn't be home for hours. I wrote him a letter.

Dad...
I'm sorry. I know you blame me for mom's dead. I know that's why you don't, want to talk to me anymore. I get it... I'm a waste of space, so that's why I'm going to do this. To leave you alone... Are you happy now?! You don't have to, spent money on me anymore. I know you don't love me. And now you don't have, to pretend you do. I'm gone for good! But do me one last favor... Tell Derek I love him... Give him my journal... There stands everything he needs to know. And tell Scott it wasn't his fault. And he shouldn't blame himself. I know in a year they have all forgot about me. But I will watch them... I will look after them. This life is just not, meant for me... That's why I have to leave...
I love you daddy, but you don't love me... Goodbye.
Stiles.
I went to the bathroom, where I had my medicin. I took big handfuls, put them in my mouth. Took some water, to swallow it. I instantly felt sleepier. But I knew I was going to, a better place... I was finally about to find peace...

Derek
I told Scott everything that happend. And he just looked at me. "Are you kidding? Where is he now? What have you done to him?!" He yelled. "Nothing... He's at home, passed out. I put him on the bed..." I said. "Let's go see him then!" Scott said. "Isaac stay here... If my mom comes home, tell her I'm at Stiles'..." he said.
After 5 minutes were at Stiles' house... But something was different. I jumped through his window. Stiles wasn't in his bed!!! I could smell him though. He was in the bathroom. And then I heard it. His heart wasn't beating!! I almost broke the door, to get to him. He was lying on the floor. "Scott call an ambulance!! NOW!!" I screamed. I scooped Stiles' head into my lap. I tried to get the pilles, out of his system... "Please Stiles! Wake up... I can't lose you..." I said.
Not long after, the ambulance came. They tried to start his heart with electric shock... "Clear!" One of the doctor's said, and Stiles body almost jumped in the air. Nothing happend... "Clear!!" The docter said, and once again Stiles body jumped. Then I heard it! His heart was beating faint... "Okay we have to get, him to the hospital now!" The doctor said. They lifted Stiles down the stairs.
Scott and I jumped in the ambulance as well, I took Stiles' hand squeezing it tight. "I'm calling his dad..." Scott said.

Scott
A million of thoughts ran through my head. I thought of the note, Stiles had left, for his dad... The sherrif took the phone finally, after five calls. "Sherrif... Something has happend to Stiles..." I said, my voice was shaking and cracking. "What is it now?" The sherrif asked. "We're loosing him again!! I'm not getting any pulse!!" one of the doctor's yelled. "Scott what's going on?" The sherrif asked slightly more worried. "Stiles... he overdosed on pills... He left you a note..." I said. "I'm on my way..." he said and hung up.
I looked at Derek, I have never seen him this way before. He looked so sad...

Stiles' dad
I drove as fast as possible, I drove home... Ran up to Stiles' room. I found the note... My hands began shaking while I began to read...
Dad...
I'm sorry. I know you blame me for mom's dead. I know that's why you don't, want to look at me anymore. I get it... I'm a waste of space, so that's why I'm going to do this. To leave you alone... Are you happy now?! You don't have to spent money on me anymore. I know you don't love me. And now you, don't have to pretend you do. I'm gone for good! But do me one last favor. Tell Derek I love him... Give him my journal... There stands everything he needs to know. And tell Scott it wasn't his fault. And he shouldn't blame himself. I know in a year they have all forgot about me. But I will watch them... I will look after them. This life is just not, meant for me... That's why I have to leave.
I love you daddy, but you don't love me... Goodbye
Stiles.
I felt the tears in my eyes. My son... I do love you. I work so hard to, make sure I can take care of you. I'm sorry you thought, I didn't loved you... I thought to myself.

Derek
I was litterally going out of my mind... Was Stiles dead? No one knew... The whole pack was here. Lydia, Malia, Liam, Kira, Isaac, Scott and I. I could smell his dad, coming around the corner. "Where is Stiles?!" He yelled. Melissa came, "where the hell is he?!" He asked. "Calm down Stilinski... They're still working on him. Trying to get his pulse, stabilized..." she said. The sherrif looked at Scott for answers...

Scott
I followed the sherrif, "what happend?" He asked. "I... I don't know... I don't know. I'm sorry... Derek was the last, person who talked to him..." I said. "When was the last time you talked to him?" He asked. "I think about two weeks ago. He has pushed all of us, away... When we tried to talk, to him he just walked away. Or said nothing... Derek found him... Stiles was visiting Claudia's grave. Derek said Stiles was drunk... He said he was about to jumped off, the cliff..." I said, with a shaky voice. "It's all my fault! I should have tried harder, to get to him!" I cried. He pulled me into a hug, "there stood in the letter. You shouldn't blame yourself..." he said. "But it is my fault..." I cried. "Mr. Stilinski?" A doctor said. "How is he?" He asked worried. "He's stabilized but... He's in a coma. We don't know, how much damage the pills did to him. And we don't know if, he will come out, of the coma... I'm sorry..." the doctor said. "Can we see him?" I asked. "The others in the waiting room, are already in his room..." he said.