Second Time Around (Paused)

I

2 months into 2013 ganun. My Sight's a bit blury. I don't know what am I doing here.

Why did my toes took me here. I'm feeling a little bit tipsy or more or less drunk.

"Wow. Isang Student Assistant. Isang Scholar, Andito sa ganitong place." sabe ko habang tinitignan tong glass of I-dont -know-what-its-called  on my hand. Tsaka ko Nilagok to.

"Ahhh. Kuya, One Tequila on the Rocks please" Sabe ko dun sa Bartender with a sweet voice.

"Ano bang gingawa mo dito Isabella Anne Angeles? Huh?" ano nga bang pumasok sa utak ko.

Hayyyy. Iinomin ko na sana yung Drink, kaso...

"Hoy! Anne! Kung Magcluclubbing ka pala edi sana nagsasabe ka diba?

Para naman nadamayan kita" Sabe ni Bee tas nagwink siya saken.

Anong ginagawa nitong babaeng to dito.

I Just looked at her with a cold expression.

"Tara Lipat tayo. Gulo dito eh. " then I saw her look at my side.

Titingin sana ko kaso parang ayoko. but still I looked.

"Whatthe!?" Si Ellana ..

"Miko? Just please get back with me?" she said that while she was about to kiss him.

She was litterally flirting with him. and Carlo Looks wasted.

"Bee, Kanina ka pa ba diyan?" I looked at her/

"Yeah. Kanina pa. Watching both of you getting Wasted.;)" sabe niya then she smirked.

"WAIT!! How did you know I was here?" I came back to my senses.

"Tsh. Ganyan mo ba talaga ko i-welcome. Wala manlang Hug? or Even I missed you? Tara na. Dinner muna tayo. My Treat." sabe niya.

Wait si Ellana, Si Carlo, I can't leave him.

"Bes. Pass muna. Sasamaha---"

I can see it on my side vision. They were kissing Kissing like Kissing HARD.

"Yvonne. Please? Ako nalang?" sabe niya, then bigla nalang *PAK*

"Miko! I'm not Yvone! Damn!"

"Sasamahan mo muna si Miko?"

Pagkasabe niya nun umalis muna ko para lumapit kay Carlo. Tumabi ako sakanya sa couch. Tumingin siya sakin at ngumiti, sinuklian ko din yung ngiting yun. Why can't I forget you babe?

" Hey" i said

"Hey Princess. I missed you so much!" Mapungay na yung mga mata niya at mukhang wala na masyado sa katinuan.

"Carlo, stop it with the endearments. Uwi na tayo. You're so drunk."

"Inom pa tayo. Gusto na kita makalimutan" sabi niya sabay kuha ng sa bote ng Cuervas.

" I'm not Yvonne, babe"

" Bakit ba lahat ng tao iniisip na si Yvonne yung gusto kong kalimutan!? Di ba nila makita na gusto ko na makamove on galing sayo!" He told me that with sorrow, pain and anger in his eyes. Maniniwala ba ko sayo?

"You're drunk Carlo. Mauuna na ko"

"No please wag mo ko iwan, ipapagpalit mo nanaman ba ko? " sinasabi niya to habang mah tumutulong mga tubig galing sa mga mata niya. Ang sakit makita. "Sakin ka nalang ulit"

Iniwan ko siya dun. Hindi ko na alam kung anong sasabihin ko sakaniya it's true I still have feelings for him. And yes it was all my fault.  I hate seeing him like this.

Lumapit sakin sila Bee. Alam niya na agad. Hahatid na sa nila ko sa bahay.

"Bes. Wait. Let's just go to other places. Not here. or not anywhere near here."

Parang Immediately I came back to my senses.

Pumunta kame ng Twin Hills.

Bundok yun. Madalas daw niya puntahan kapag may prob siya.

She offered me Cali the one with alcohol.

Pano kame nakapunta dito?

She drove us here.

"Oh? Labas mo na." sabe niya.

"Ang Alen?"pagtatakang tanong ko.

"Walang paramdam for a 2 month? You made me worry."sabe niya with a serious expression.

Tsaka siya nag-sip sa Drink niya.

"Wala just Hectic." sabe ko .

"Lul. I don't believe you." as i thought hindi nga siya maniniwala.

I got out of way.

I want to tell him.

Nakakabaliw parang sasabog na puso ko tuwing lalapit siya.

Wait, baka sabihiin niyo napaka babaw ko para magdrama ng dahil sa lalaki.

No. It wasn't just about Carlo.

It was about this damned fuck life.

"Let me just guess? Carlo? Tita?"

"Both?"sabe ko sakaniya. Then I faked a laugh.

"Damn. Bes. Just be optimistic for a little while will you?"-Bee

"Madali lang para sayo sabihin yan eh. Pero mahirap para saken gawin"

Tama. Kase kahit anong gawin ni Bee. Optimist lang siya lage.

I've been sidetracked for this past few months.

Masiyadong Magulo eh.

Sobrang Gulo.

Things just keep clouding up my mind.

~flashback

"Ma? Sinong kausap mo?"

"Sge na. Bye na. Magingat ka diyan ha?"

At that I already know who my mom was talking with.

"nakakausap mo pala siya."

Yung Gagong lalake. Yung gago na nanggulo sa pamilyang to.

~end of flash back.

"BEE! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR SAYING!" then I felt the tears slowly escaping my eyes.

Alam kong alam niya kung ano yung ibig kong sabihin.

San na ba ko? San ko na ba ilulugar sarili ko?