If At First

Part 5 - Chapter 4

"Hey, Tabby." Justin's voice came unexpectedly from beside me, "How's it going?" It was as casual as if we'd just been chatting on the phone. I spun, swallowing my stomach, my rigid lavender dress fighting me the whole way, to face him.

"Justin!" I said, feigning enthusiasm. I didn't want to look him in the eye, and reactively searched for Danni.

He smiled. "You look incredible. You're so tan!"

My eyes settled on him then. I was determined to get this over with now that I'd been discovered. He looked at me the adoring way he did when we were first dating and my mind flashed back to how happy I thought I was. How ignorantly happy. I held my breath, bracing myself for the unavoidable reaction my chest would have, and the concurrent one my stomach or legs would surely have.

But my response to seeing him was not at all what I expected. None of the dreaded feelings were rushing back. None of the pain was there. I felt...nothing. And it was incredible.

"Thank you." I said politely, hoping he wasn't going to try to hug me or something. "You look...the same. How've you been?" Truthfully he looked awful. Bloated, tired, and his suit was over-traveled. I tried not to be a little happy about that.

"I'm great. Busy. You?" He asked, tightening his jaw, and looking like it was taking great effort to stay nonchalant. This was weird. I felt nearly giddy at my indifference toward him. Not hate or resentment, just...nothing. I couldn't help smiling.

"Wonderful, really. I moved back home with my dad and the guys, but I'll be spending the summer with my grandmother apparently." I murmured that last part, not caring whether or not he heard me, and at the same time something clicked inside me that thought maybe spending time away from Madison with my grandmother might be exactly what I needed.

"That sounds...uh, fun I guess. It's good to see you so happy, you always had such a great smile." he was growing increasingly anxious. "Um, Tab, I wanted to-"

He was interrupted then by someone on a microphone announcing that the speeches were about to begin. I turned to leave. "I've gotta go. It was nice seeing you, Justin." I lied and waved over my shoulder as I retreated in my purple straightjacket. I longed for tomorrow when I could wear the infinitely more comfortable bridesmaid dress.

The Groom and his father made their speeches, welcoming their guests and thanking them for being there. I leaned back in my seat beside Danni, looking into her audience and recognizing only one or two faces. I was hoping my family would be able to make it, but they had all been planning their camping trip/ reunion with my father's family that takes place at the same time every year, and it happened to fall on this weekend. There was no way we could have afforded to fly all five of us out here, anyway

Danni was so occupied with her bride-duties that I felt a little isolated from the company. I tried to stay in the background, to remain unnoticed as the elegant event passed before me. David's mother was right, I'm not sophisticated enough to have helped plan something like this. It was like a fairy tale, and this was just the rehearsal for tomorrow.

Now and then I would chat with Maggie and Becca, but with so many people in one room, it was difficult for any of us to remain still. Thumper and Karen, along with their mother, were giving me the stink-eye all night. I could only assume that they were blaming me for planning a weekend where one of them ended up fried to a crisp and the other married to a talking mime.

Toward the end of the evening Justin found me again. "There you are, Tabby. I was looking for you."

"Were you?" I responded, smiling, "I can't imagine why."

"I was trying to tell you before, that I want to introduce you to someone." He was a little out of breath, and looked about as happy as someone whose cat just died. Before I could ask who on earth we might both want to know, he said, "My fiancé."

My stomach plummeted to the floor. I gripped the back of a nearby chair, wishing my legs were a fraction as sturdy as those beneath it. I should have known he'd find a way to get to me, the bastard.

He turned to tap the arm of a woman just behind him, and held his hand out to her as she came toward us. "This is Meegan. Meegan, this is Tabitha." I was frozen. She was sweet-looking and all smiles, blonde and trim, but with a little too much make-up.

"Megan?" I asked, thinking I'd heard her name wrong.

"Meegan," she answered as though it was a question she had answered thousands of times.

Seeing her innocent face next to Justin, clueless as to what he was capable of, I almost felt pity for her. Almost.

"It's wonderful to meet you," I said with perfect cordiality, extending my hand. Why was it only now occurring to me that I didn't think to bring a date?

"You're Tabitha?" she looked at me with wide eyes, her smile fading and looking back to Justin.

What was that supposed to mean? What had he told her? "I'm Tabitha," I replied, my puzzled expression flicking between the two stricken faces in front of me. I could feel some kind of drama unfolding and knew I wanted no part. She began fuming. Had I offended her? "Congratulations on your engagement...I like your dress." I thought I should attempt to alleviate whatever had caused the odd reaction, but then decided I didn't actually care enough. Whatever Justin told her about me was very likely a pack of lies, and the sooner she figured that out about him, the better off she would be.

Meegan stomped out of the room and Justin was on her heels, pleading. I sighed to myself, relieved the hour was finally late enough that I could return to my room without being missed.