It took about four years.
"I am the one who gripped you tight," Castiel announced, a note of pride in his voice, "and raised you from Perdition."
Dean stabbed him in the chest with a knife, so Castiel knocked out his adoptive father. They needed to talk.
"You don't think you deserved to be saved..." Castiel breathed, as if he couldn't fathom that someone with a soul as bright as Dean Winchester's could hate them self this much.
"Don't ever change," Dean requested, placing a hand on Castiel's shoulder, squeezing lightly. Castiel almost glowed, smiling as Dean's hand slid down his shoulder to rest back at Dean's own side.
"Dean and I do share a more...profound bond." Castiel admitted, noticing Dean's confused expression, "I wasn't going to mention it."
"I will redeem myself to you, Dean," Castiel promised, wincing as the Souls writhed inside him, as Dean propped him up in front of the sigil. It felt as if his heart were constricting, as the shame of everything he'd done, and the way Deanlookedat him, washed over Castiel.
Emmanuel pressed his palm to the demon's forehead, and felt something deep, deep within him stirring, white light beginning to gush from the demon's surprised eyes. Then, he began to remember. His name was Castiel, angel of Thursday. He felt, disobeyed, rebelled, Fell, even died, for Dean Winchester. He killed thousands of his brothers and sisters, for a mere human. More and more memories flooded him, and a pain settled within his chest, as he saw Dean's face in his mind's eye, with adoration, anger, shock, fear, mirth, pain. All these emotions hit Castiel like a freight train, and, suddenly, there were no more demons, except for Meg. Dean handed him his trenchcoat from the trunk of the Impala-he's kept it all this time? After everything Castiel had done?
"Cas, buddy, I need you." Dean pleaded, and Castiel felt like crying. Purgatory was dangerous for Dean alone, just being human, but with him, it would be hundreds of times worse. Castiel remembered the hug Dean had given him, grabbing onto him like a starfish to a rock, holding him tight, and then releasing him, commenting on his 'peach fuzz'. Dean was prepared to sacrifice his own life to 'shove his feathery ass throught the eye of that needle'. He was willing to die, if it meant he didn't have to live without Castiel. Then, he realized, he needed Dean, too.
He left the bathroom, wiping his hands dry with a hand towel. Dean shifted in his seat, as Sam smiled, friendly. He felt embarrassment flush up the back of his neck at Dean's raking eyes, and smiled to himself.
"I'm afraid I might kill myself." Castiel admitted to Dean, a small weight lifted off his shoulders, and added to Dean's. Dean's face was awash with concern and pain, worried, possibly, that one day Castiel might actually go through with this.
Castiel felt Dean's adoring gaze on his skin, like sunshine. He felt warm, and safe, but now was not the time to focus on these things. He stood, announcing something about interrogating the cat, and walked away from Dean's affectionate smile.
"Where the hell are you, man?" Dean's voice broke, quietly tapering off into nothing. Castiel grimaced, his heart wrenching painfully in his chest like a caged bird, as he was forced to ignore Dean's prayer. A silent tear rolled down his cheek, into his stubble, as he closed his eyes against the throbbing in his heart.
"I love you, Cas," Dean finished, and left Castiel speechless.
Four long, painful, unrequited years. Four years of longing and sunshine. Four years of waiting for this exact moment, and now Castiel could do nothing but choke back a sob and pull Dean into a searing kiss. He pulled back, actually crying now, and peppered Dean's face with kisses. Dean was crying too, as he held onto Castiel and pressed his forehead to Castiel's, laughing through his tears.
"I love you, Dean." Castiel announced, and he felt light and warm, as he realized he was allowed to, now. Finally, he was allowed to love Dean, and Dean could love him back.
"I love you, I love you, I love you." Castiel pressed salty kisses to Dean's neck, in between each pronouncement. Dean pulled back from Castiel, and he was worried that Dean was going to say 'no chick flick moments', or something to that effect, but instead, Dean kissed him, conveying so much affection, trust, and longing in just the connection of their lips, Castiel began to cry harder.
"I love you so much, Cas," Dean whispered into Castiel's hair, they had both slumped to the ground quite some time ago. Castiel hiccuped, and pressed his face into the crook of Dean's neck.
An angel and his hunter sat on the floor, kissing, and saying'I love you', and for once, everything was finally okay.
