The Assistant

Epilogue

“Harry—” I breathed out so lightly the sound barely brushed his lips. I think I could feel the weight of it all in that moment. I’d stilled for a moment, too overwhelmed. He’d wrapped his arm around me and tightened his fingers on the back of my head.

“Don’t stop, love,” he’d urged gently, moving me over him. Filling me so completely. His body. His love. All of it was wrapped around me until I was nothing but another part of him and he another part of me. Seemed fitting now.

His eyes had squeezed closed and I’d felt him stir inside me but he held back, not wanting this moment between us to end. My movements grew a little more urgent as I felt my insides spark and light and rush together in my center. Our hearts racing against each other. We clung to each other as if we were trying to crawl under each others skin completely. When he came, nothing but his breathing and the small catch in his throat gave him away. He’d held his breath for a few seconds before gasping it out and burying his face in the crook of my neck.

Afterwards he’d laid me back on the cushions, kissing my stomach and further as I lazily moved my fingers through his hair. Every now and again he loved going down on me afterwards. Tasting the heady mix of both of our releases on my skin. Taking his time and relishing in how sensitive I always was. His hand grazing over my stomach to my heart, laying flat there to feel my heart against his palm, responding to every lick and nip. He’d gripped my bottom and pressed his tongue deep inside me. I’d whimpered and arched under his skilled tongue. I never wanted him to stop. The moments afterwards when I no longer had the feel of his skin against me was always the greatest tragedy of my entire day.

In the present, I chewed my already destroyed fingernails until I tasted blood. When I heard his key in the door I felt like my entire world stopped for a second. The air stilled. My heart stopped beating. Even the blood in my veins froze. Until everything rushed in and my ears started ringing and my heart thundered in my chest like it was threatening to break my ribcage but the minute I saw him, it all calmed. As if a little voice in my head was telling me, everything was going to be alright. This was Harry. He loved me more than I could ever imagine someone could love me. Even in his sleep he’d nuzzle into my side, his hand finding mine under the covers.

I took in a deep breath and for the first time, allowed myself to slide my hand across my stomach and accept that something lived beneath my skin. Something that was equal parts him and me. Something that in that moment, I began to love tremendously.

“Ugh,” he proclaimed, sticking his tongue out in mock exhaustion and shutting the door, hanging up his keys and kicking off his shoes. “Everyone had major sticks up their asses today. It sucked,” he vented while I stared at him and held my secret under my palm. “First, Louis didn’t like the chorus arrangement so he bitched about that for an hour,” Harry sat next to me on the couch, leaning over against me until I laid back and let him rest with his back to me. I lay my arm over his shoulder, my hand resting on his chest as he scratched his nails across the back of my hand while my other hand took off his beanie and played with his hair. “Zayn was doing his lovely quiet, fuck-the-world thing we all love so very much. It was just not a very productive day in the studio.”

“I’m sorry, baby.” I kissed the top of his head as he drew lazy circles against my thigh.

“I’m just happy to be home. I missed you.” Harry leaned his head back and kissed the curve of my jaw and I felt so fragile then. My eyes welling up to the point where I had to cover my face with my hand. Harry shifted, turning and facing me. I could feel his concern all around me, I didn’t need to see his face. “What’s wrong?”

I felt his fingers around my wrist, trying to uncover my face. I startled him when I moved my hand, taking his face and looking at him, at his worry.