When I was in middle school, I started to think about becoming a writer. All throughout that and High School, I'd come up with half baked ideas, never fully getting them out. But then throughout school and outside of it, I'd hear one phrase. "Write what you know."
The plot line to this story is my life and experiences. I know some readers will think and question why this or my story is special or important enough to put out there like this. Maybe others will question if I'm doing it for attention. But rest assured, it's not attention seeking or me thinking too highly of myself. It's my way of fighting back after so many things happening in my only 24, almost 25 years of life, and to call attention to something that no one wants to think or hear or talk about: Child Abuse
When we were children, we were taught if we see signs of anything bad happening bad to our classmates, we were to report it. Unfortunately it wasn't until in later years that we learned these specific signs.
Somehow we were also taught to question those signs with lingering thoughts like " If something bad was happening, why didn't these "ones" say anything?"
The point is that these days, the world has filled with abusive or psychologically unfit parents, with situations getting to the point of parents killing their own children or making them ill.
Someone told me that I have a right to take up space, to tell my story. So that is what I'm going to do. I have faith in God that maybe in telling it, God can help someone through my testimony. Because I know that in little moments of my life, in every moment really, he has been there.
I ran from Christ before, because I didn't understand why I kept going through bad things, thinking I was being punished for some great evil that I haven't even committed yet. That's what I felt. But things got so chaotic and wrong without him, and I came back to Christ, and while things might still not be easier, I can see clearer now with God on my side.
This story will be graphic, but I will not lie and say that there are not worse cases than my story. But these events are the things that I have had nightmares about, and are my trauma. Maybe it will help people to know, maybe not, but it will be out there to read and I'm hoping this is more courageous than stupid, but here we go...
