So Little Time (Frerard) *New Version*

12: You're Beginning To Drag The Ones You Love Down

"Gerard?" Mikey's groggy voice broke through Gerard's thoughts, and Gerard felt like he could breathe again for the first time all night now that he had his brother with him, even though he wasn't actually present, and it was just a cell connection, but it was still good enough for now.

"Hey Mikes..." Gerard choked out, trying his best to hide the fact that he had been sobbing, even though he knew Mikey would be able to tell instantly.

"Gee...it's three in the morning, can this wait?" Mikey grumbled irritably, and Gerard really wished it could, and he could shove his problems to the background for another day, but he honestly needed Mikey right now.

"I know Mikes - I'm sorry...I'm just - it's bad, and I want to...like before," Gerard babbled out, and to anyone else but Mikey, Gerard would have been speaking nonsense, but Mikey knew Gerard, and he knew exactly what Gerard meant, because he had seen Gerard like this hundreds of times before.

"Hey - it's gonna be okay Gee, you are going to be okay. You called me right - so you don't want to do this, you don't have to do this," Mikey begged softly, sounding much more awake than he had two seconds ago, his fear for Gerard instantly snapping him into consciousness like a bucket of cold water to the face.

"I know...I'm trying not to, but I'm so scared Mikes - I'm so alone, and I hate this, and I can't - I'm not strong enough," Gerard sobbed softly, sinking down against the bathroom door dejectedly as another wave of tears assaulted him.

"What's wrong? I know you probably don't want to tell me, but I can't help you if I don't know," Mikey coaxed gently, and even though Mikey was trying to hide it, Gerard didn't miss the way his voice was trembling slightly, and he felt so fucking guilty for making his little brother have to deal with something like this at such an ungodly hour.

Gerard shouldn't be doing this to Mikey, because he was the older one, which meant he was supposed to be Mikey's support, his role model, or whatever, not the other way around, but for as long as Gerard could remember, their positions had been reversed, and Gerard depended on Mikey much more than Mikey did on him.

"It's Frank...he's sick...and I have been trying to work up the nerves to call you for ages so I could tell you, but I couldn't, and now - I don't know what I'm going to do..." Gerard stuttered out, and he knew he wasn't making any sense, but it was hard to speak when his chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself with every word, and talking about Frank was making the sensation a thousand times worse.

"I don't understand Gee...what's wrong with Frank. Is he okay - is he there with you?" Mikey asked, and even though the last thing Gerard wanted to do was explain Frank's condition right now, he knew he had to do it, because Mikey wasn't going to let him drop it.

"He's here, but he's asleep, and he's not okay. H-he's got a brain tumor, and it's inoperable, and he's dying Mikes...and I think I'm dying too."

"What - Gerard, please tell me this is some sick joke?" Mikey gasped out, and the pain Gerard could hear in Mikey's voice made Gerard cry even harder, because Frank had been Mikey's best friend before he moved, and Gerard hadn't even had the curtesy to tell Mikey about what was happening, and although it had been out of fear, and not any ill intent on Gerard's part, he still felt horrible for dropping this on Mikey in such an insensitive fashion.

"I'm not - I'm so sorry, I should have told you the second I found out, but I haven't even accepted it yet, but that's no excuse. I'm sorry...I'll go..." Gerard whispered quietly, inching closer to the bathroom cabinet, in which he knew lay a fresh pack of shaving razors he had purchased the other day.

"No - don't you fucking dare hang up the phone Gerard. I know what will happen if you do, and I don't want you to hurt yourself okay? Just please - keep talking to me for a little while," Mikey pleaded, but Gerard was already drifting away from him, his attention attracted by the package he was turning over in his hand idly.