Invisible String (ON GOING)

Chapter 1 : Through Adversity

Eunice Leigh Austria
POINT OF VIEW

Madaling araw na pero gising pa rin ako. Nakatunganga lang sa kisame at iniisip ang buhay ko. I sigh while thinking all about my everyday life.

I can not sleep so I reach over to my table and grab my phone. I open my anonymous Thread account, a private space where I can vent out my frustrations nang walang humuhusga.

Ito na yatang social media ang safe place ko, eh.

As I scroll through my feed, I see posts from people all over the world. Katulad ko, may sarisarili rin silang buhay na nagpapahirap sa kaniya. It’s a strange comfort to know I am not alone in my battles.

I start typing a new thread, pouring out my feelings about the difficulties I face, a question not only for myself, but also for everyone.

@Anonquestime! 2:58 AM
What do you think is the greatest challenge people face in their journey through life?

@someone1 3:00 AM
to overcome adversity and obstacles?

@someone2 3:04 AM
The path you take in a career.

@someone3 3:27 AM
I think it is maintaining meaningful relationships and connections.

In my opinion, one of the greatest challenges people face in life is finding meaning and purpose. Lahat naman siguro ay may dahilan kung bakit nabubuhay, hindi ba? Pero 'yung iba kasi, hinahanap pa rin nila ang dahilan para magpatuloy. Katulad ko.

It is like grappling with the unknown and finding a meaningful path forward amidst constant change and uncertainty.

I scroll down more to their answers.
It is not surprising that my followers are still awake. They are the ones who accompany me by responding to my inquiries regarding various life issues.

We share our opinions and understanding. Therefore, nakakatulong 'yon sa akin para makita at malaman pa ang iba't ibang perspective. Whenever I thought na 'yun lang 'yon, biglang maymas complex pa pala na hindi ako aware. 

With a sigh, I put my phone back on the table. I don't want to close my eyes even though I feel so sleepy.

Tumayo ako at nagsimulang linisin ang k'warto ko na halos magmukha nang bahay ng daga. Why? Dahil ang umampon sa akin ay hindi naman tinatrato ng maayos. Talagang nagtiyaga na lang akong linisin ang k'warto na 'to dahil dito halos umiikot ang mundo ko.

It is not trashy anymore like how it used to be when I was a kid.

I put my earphones on and left my room para magluto ng umagahan. Katulad ng palagi kong ginagawa, maaga akong nagluluto para makapagtabi ako ng pagkain para sa sarili ko na matatawag kong pagkain. 

I have eaten their leftovers before. And I had no choice, because they always make me feel like I am a burdensome peasant that they need to feed and put clothes on. Naniniwala rin silang hindi sila obligado sa akin since hindi naman ako biological child. 

I'm kinda confused why they decided to adopt a kid.

Pero ngayon, sanay na ako. Natuto pa akong protektahan ang sarili ko by tricking them—tricking everyone who is trying to take me for granted. Kasi kung hindi ko 'yun gagawin, sino ang gagawa para sa akin? Mag-isa lang ako sa buhay.

Yet... I cannot escape the cruelty and abuse that I get from my adopted parents.

Even though it is hot outside, I put my long sleeves and my pants on. I looked at the mirror first before going out. I sigh as I stare at the bruise on my forehead.

Kinuha ko ang gunting sa bag ko para gupitan ang buhok. Ito nanaman tayo sa bangs. It became longer now, but here I am trying to hide my bruises by cutting it short again.

I am on my way to my part-time job since I stopped attending college. I only completed the first year before leaving because I could no longer afford it. Hindi na binabayan ng orphanage na pinanggalingan ko ang ibang pangangailangan ko, financial support kumbaga. Minor pa kasi qko no'n, but now that I am in my legal age, they believed that I can fend for myself now.

Adulthood is both a blessing and a curse.

I don't have anywhere else to go, so I am enduring the way my adoptive parents treat me. Kahit na gaano kahirap, I am still trying to make the best of my situation. I work hard to save money and hopefully return to my studies someday.

Ang tanging pangarap ko lang is that I the day when I can stand on my own feet, with a stable career and the education that I long for. Gusto kong umalis sa sitwasyon ko na 'to ngayon.

Mahirap but I hope I can make it.  

I glance up to the sky, where a flock of birds flies. How would being free feel?

I sigh and set aside my thoughts. Nag-green na ang traffic lights kaya makakatawid na ako. I'm on my way now to a supermarket where I work as a janitress. Hindi sobrang laki ng sahod ko pero tama lang para ma-satisfy ang adopted parents ko. Although, they are still asking for some sometimes. Kaya nagkukulang ako para sa sariling pangangailangan ko. Kaya may isa pa akong trabaho para naman sa sarili ko, one that they're unaware of, in order to sustain myself.

Before the morning sun casts glow, tumatayo na agad ako para maglinis at magluto ng pagkain nila, then I'll get ready to work as a janitress hanggang sa maghapon na. I barely eat lunch because I don't have the money for it, hindi rin ako nakakapagdala.

Kapag naman naggabi na, sa 7/11 naman ang deretso ko. Ayon ang isa ko pang trabaho.  After all, the world isn't as bad as it seems to me, since it gave me a co-worker at the 7/11 who's a second-year college student. We're not in the same field as me pero hinihirap ko pa rin ang mga libro at notes niya para kahit papaano ay may natutunan ako.  

"P'wede mo ba akong tulungan? Cram na cram na ako rito!" She complained,  

"Ano ba 'yan?" I asked pero hindi naman ako nakatingin sa kaniya. Nagbabasa rin kasi ako ng libro na hiniram ko sa kaniya kahapon. 

"Ugh! Ayoko talaga sa subject na 'to!"

"Then why did you choose that course?" I said, noting that she was studying entrepreneurship.

"Because I want to have my own business, obviously! Duh?" She retorted sarcastically.

"Then you shouldn't complain, Celine," I stated. I'm looking at her directly now. "Pinili mo 'yan, eh. Don't you think it's rather ironic to complain about something you want to pursued?"

Her expression softened, perhaps realizing the truth in my words. Nag-pout siya ng bahagya habang nakatingin sa notes. "Alam mo p'wede kang sumali ng mga contest about rampa rampa, ang gaganda ng mga logic mo," ani niya na inilingan ko na lang. 

"But you're really mean, Eun," she added.

"That's my way of helping you, Celine," I responded, offering her a gentle smile. "Sometimes, stating the facts can be the most effective way for growth," I added, placing a refreshing Mogu Mogu drink in front of her. "Oh, for encouragement. Ako na bahala d'yan."

"Kahit na ang sama ng ugali mo minsan, grabe rin sweetness mo 'no?" she smiles, it's her favorite. "Love yah!"

Once more, the day flew by like a strong wind. Kinuha ko na ang mga gamit ko at inayos para makahwi na.

I made their dinner as soon as I arrived home and headed straight to my room. I already ate at the convenience store so that I don't have to sneak food to my room.

This is how my life has always been. I sometimes don't even sleep through the night and get up early to go to my part-time jobs without having time to have lunch. I make sure to eat at the convenience store for dinner before I head home, but that would deduct from my salary, but that's okay, because that's the point of having another part time job.