Logan's Version

Logan's Version (scene 18) - Blooper Script

Beep...
Zoey: (holding the spatula again behind him) No one cares about what you think, Logan. And why do I have to hold this again?
Logan: (puts his hand on her shoulder) Oh, Zoey, you - (seems to be looking at something behind her) douche bag?
Zoey: Douche bag? (She turns to look in Logan's direction. They see a gleeful Danny holding a big card that says, "U, doosh bag.") [laugh track]
Zoey: Danny, we talked about this.
Danny: (sassily) We all know "Sweet and naive soul" is so 2010s.
Logan: The tag of the show literally says 2010s [laugh track]. (scoffs) Jeez.

Beep...
Logan is with Michael and Drea in the kitchen.
Drea: (sulking) Mr. Logan, Michael won't let me have his other chocolate bar.
Logan: (gasps) Michael, give her the other chocolate. Don't be rude, I raised u better than that.
Michael: (raises an eye brow) No, u didn't [laugh track].
Logan: Yes, I did. [laugh track] In fact, you're grounded.
Michael: (genuinely offended) No, I aren't. You're not my dad! My dad is over there waiting for this drama to blow over so I can go home.
Logan/Drea: MICHAEL!
Mikey: (offscreen) CUT!

Beep...
Danny is still in the living room, squeezing Jesse's cheeks and laughing about it, even though Jesse himself is nowhere near finding it funny
Danny: (smiling wildly) Where is the green eye thing? (tries to look into Jesse's right eye) It's just brown
Jesse: (rolls eyes) Daniel, those are my cheeks. (Meanwhile, Trevor, Zoey, and Logan are observing the two embarrassing themselves) Would u quit it already?
Danny: (widens his eyes) You rolled your eyes. Any minute now.
Zoey: (confused) Should we tell him?
Logan: Nah, it's the only way he'll learn. (Almost immediately, the three hear Danny yell in pain).
Danny: (offscreen) JESSE HIT ME AGAIN!!
Tracy: (joins the three while eating from a bucket of chicken ribs) Did Jesse just act like Raven off set even though he is "like" Raven on set?
Zoey: (smiles at camera) We're lucky he only has visions (the three laugh about it, followed by laughter in the background)

(At Tracy's restaurant workplace...)
Beep...
Mikey, Zoey, Logan, Drea, and Jesse are seated at a table a bit close to the counter. Tracy walks in with two plates - apparently, kiddies specials.
Tracy: (hands the first plate of sushi to Drea) This is for Dorothy -
Drea: It's Drea
Tracy: Same thing, Dora. (scoffs) Keep up.
Zoey: Those are two different names
Tracy: (hands the other plate to Jesse), and this is for my little vamp.
Jesse: Thanks, Miss T.
Tracy: (happily) This will help boost your newfound vision powers and help you to soar higher than the Raven u were meant to be!
Logan: (tries to whisper to Zoey) Did she - (bursts out laughing. The others soon join in)

Beep...
Tracy: You will soar higher than the Eagle Raven u were meant to be.
Logan: (whispers to Zoey) She realizes Raven won't be impressed with this awful word play
Tracy: (singsongy) Higher (raises the tray on her hand) than this! (tosses it to her right. The tray accidentally hits someone offscreen, followed by a clang and a loud crash). Uh, oh! (Tracy quickly drops her apron and proceeds to run, but just turns and laughs about it. The others join in, too)
Mikey: (laughing) That was a good one!

Beep...
Danny: I met the continent
Zoey: Try again.
Danny: I met the contestant pendent
Zoey: Huh? (The camera shows Logan holding a card with the words "I met the correspondent" on it)
Logan: Bro, what the heck? (laughing with Zoey)
Zoey: (slowly stops laughing) OK, say "correspondent"
Danny: (looks at camera, smiling awkwardly) Corresponding? (covers his face shyly)
Logan: (still holding the card) U tried, Danny. We'll get there soon.

Beep...
Tracy: Where's the ding dang vision, Baxter?!
Jesse: (pretends to stare into the distance) I'm seeing a vision.
Zoey: Honey, he doesn't have vision abilities. This is real life. We're not in a scripted TV show
Tracy: (looks at camera with a raised eyebrow. Jesse is also confused) Zoey, we're literally in front of a camera.

Beep...
Anne and Trevor are discussing...
Anne: And I told her, "U better not be in the middle of it all, or you'll be the centre of attention."
Trevor: (tries to stifle a laugh) Sorry, it's so funny.
Anne: You're not supposed to laugh (laughs along with Trevor)...

Beep...
Logan: (Opens the front door, barging in and raising his hands up for no reason and yells) LOGAN'S THROWING A PARTY ON THE ROOF!! AYOOOOOO!!! [Laugh track and applause] (Camera shows Michael, Zoey & Anne staring in "horror")
Anne: Does he do this every time?
Zoey: Don't worry, this is just the fourth time -
Michael: Today [laugh track] (Michael winks at the camera).

Beep...
Zoey is reading a story to Drea, Danny, and Michael.
Zoey: (reading) And the princess called out every day for help, but no one heard her.
Danny: (with a thoughtful look) Was she trapped in that tower again?
Michael: Can't she just climb down the tower?
Drea: (scoffs) Right? I mean, girl, climb down the stairs or use a ladder and escape [laugh track]
Zoey: (shakes her head) The princess was locked. And please no more interruptions. (looks at camera and grins weirdly)
Jesse: Please, no. Don't do that.

Beep...
Zoey: (clears throat before she continues reading) Now, one day, her friend, Morgan, had been searching for her. She passed by the tower, and when the princess saw her from afar, she yelled-
Logan: (offscreen) ZOEY!! (The four frreze, and glance at themselves, wondering if the book just suddenly came to life) [laugh track]
Drea: (confused) Is that how we spell Morgan now?
Zoey: (inspects the storybook) Danny, did you get this storybook from your "I know a friend" friend again?
Danny: (winks at the camera) I wish (they start to laugh).

Beep...
Logan and Zoey are sitting on the couch, facing the camera.
Zoey: (calls out) Camera's set, guys. Let's take the group photo. (Soon enough, the team rushes to the couch to take the photo, with Danny and Jesse sitting in between Logan and Zoey, followed by Tracy sitting beside Logan and Trevor beside Zoey. Anne and Mikey stand behind the couch. Drea and Michael finally sit on Tracy's and Trevor's laps, respectively).
Logan: Everyone say, "BLOOPER CHEESE!"
Everyone: (loudly) BLOOPER CHEESE!!! (They smile at the camera as it clicks. The photo is taken, and after a good 5 seconds, it is revealed that the picture is been viewed on a laptop. The group is staring at the picture, which they believe is an awkward one).
Drea: Why's my eye closed?
Mikey: I forgot to wear those sunglasses.
Logan: My smile looks creepy. Next time, I'm grinning.
Zoey: (frowns) I didn't sit so good.
Michael: Who's carrying me in the picture?
Jesse: That's Trevor, big head.
Tracy: I forgot there were 4 of u. Are they like, I dunno, Jesse's minions?
Anne: Why are we behind y'all? The couch is literally big enough for everyone.
Trevor: We look terrible. We're retaking the group photo.
Danny: Are y'all blind? YOU look awful; I look like an angel.
Everyone: You don't [laugh track].
Logan: Everyone, regroup, back to the couch. It has to be perfect.
Zoey: (confused) Am I the only one who heard the laugh track? [laugh track]
(As they prepare to retake the picture, the camera slowly focuses on the laptop, and then, a script beside it. The script cover reads, "Logan's Version, Skit 18 - Blooper Show" - ironically breaking the fourth wall and revealing the whole scenes were either reenacted or improvised. Applause is heard in the background as the screen slowly fades to black).