I hate my family

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I hate my family.
My parents the most.
My mother is a narcissist,
my father delusional.
My brother and I sit by not understanding why.
I don't want that poor boy to end up like me.

His broken sister, 
With paralyzing anxiety.
I want him to be normal.
Live a normal life.

They love him more anyways,
so it'll probably be alright.
He doesn't need a therapist,
it's not normal, I know.

All I ever wanted was to learn,
it helps me cope with my sorrow.
I play so many instruments too,
If I'm not the prodigy what will I do?

It feels like kids my age don't like me either.
I have friends..I think.
But I'm scared they'll all go.
I'm scared I'll push them away,
just like that little girl I did a few years ago.

I don't like anything about me.
Not one I can think of.
But when people are nice to me,
I can't help but wonder-
I wonder if it's all an act,
like mother and father do.

I know they don't love me,
I don't love them too.
The feeling is mutual,
but five years is too damn long to sit on my ass and wait.

I hope I learn to smile,
to hide what I truly feel.
That way I'll always win,
with fake happiness through and through.



 

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