𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 | 𝐂.𝐉𝐇 𝐱 𝐊.𝐘𝐒 ✓

𓆩20𓆪

The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife as Yeosang and Jongho just sat across from one another, not saying a thing for a couple of minutes to collect their own thoughts.

Yeosang hated to be awkward with people he thought of as a family. He hated to be in silence with them, even if they fought. He specially hated being in silence with Jongho, but now he was just not being able to say anything. 

He was hurt, he was upset and he wanted things to be over already. Jongho was over now to talk things out, and Yeosang is ready to do so. He knows that they need to talk it out, but he isn't sure what to do now. 

Jongho suddenly sighed. "Hyung, I-"

Yeosang looked up from his lap, looking straight at him and looking as he shifted in his seat. Jongho sighed as he opened his eyes and looked at Yeosang back.

"I want to apologize to you. I know what I did was so stupid, and I know that it confused you a lot. I know what I did and I'm not sure if it was alcohol or just something that came over me, but I want you to know that I would never use you. It was just the heat of the moment and I wasn't thinking straight about what I was doing. After all, I'm still dating Iseul and I don't.. like you that way, if you know what I'm saying." Jongho rambled. 

Yeosang just stared at him, feeling both relief and heartache at the same time. He expected this, but he was just taken aback by Jongho suddenly admitting all of it right in front of him. Yeosang knew that he was still with Iseul, but he just hoped he had some kind of chance.

But Yeosang knew he is hoping for nothing, because Jongho is straight and he won't ever like Yeosang. It just hurt so much, and Yeosang suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe.

"Hyung?" Jongho asked after a couple of moments of Yeosang spacing away in one place and not responding to anything he said.

The male looked up, seeing him just staring back at Yeosang with slight concern and worry over his face mixed with confusion. His eyebrows were furrowed and he was just staring, watching as Yeosang rubbed his forehead with his palm. 

"Jongho." Yeosang sighed. "Just, please.. Can we forget about what happened? I can't deal with this now-"

"What do you mean by that?" Jongho cut him off, making Yeosang stop talking. 

Yeosang just stared now, just like Jongho did a couple of moments ago. He was the one who fooled his own self now. He suddenly felt so stupid, and he sighed at that without knowing what to say anymore. 

"I just- Let's not talk about it, please? I really don't mind and I don't want to talk about it now. We can move on like nothing happened, I promise it would be okay."

Jongho furrowed his eyebrows again. "What?"

Yeosang blinked. He just wanted to stop thinking for a while, knowing that it would make him cry so much more and he didn't want to cry anymore. He just needed some peace for his own mental state, not for anything else. 

He can't do this anymore. It was just a lot, and he hated this all. He just wanted to move on from Jongho. 

"Let's move on, okay? I don't mind, and I didn't take it to heart. Okay?" Yeosang asked, wanting it to be over quickly. 

Jongho seemed to be more confused than he was. He just stared there, sitting in silence as he couldn't utter a word. He knew deep inside Yeosang wasn't okay with it. Why would he agree to move on and insist that they forget about it?

Jongho knew he wasn't okay. It was just clear, but Yeosang wanted to act like he was okay. And Jongho hated it so badly when he is acting like that instead of talking it out when it was all the point of this.

"Hyung, please. Don't say that you're fine when you smile obviously so fake."

Yeosang's face fell apart on that, and he just stared at Jongho. He didn't want to talk anymore, knowing that he will need to explain himself and his feelings, and he really didn't want to say anything to Jongho without looking weird and exposing himself. 

"But I really am fine, Jongho. I promise you, let's just move on and live out lives like nothing ever happened, okay?" Yeosang asked again. 

Jongho now blinked, feeling that he didn't want to talk which made him even more annoyed. Of course Yeosang wouldn't talk to him, he always stays quiet and keeps his problems to himself, but Jongho hoped they would talk it out. 

He sighed, shaking his head and just deciding to let go. Yeosang seems just persistent on letting go, so Jongho decided to do so not to make him uncomfortable. 

"Promise me that you will talk to me if you ever have any problems, please. Don't hold it inside of yourself. It will just make things worse than now." Jongho said. 

Yeosang sighed and reached over, grabbing Jongho's hand and holding it with his own. It felt so good to hold it, and Yeosang thought that they looked so good together. Sadly that he would never get to hold it for real like he wanted it to. 

He rubbed Jongho's knuckles, not taking his eyes off of Jongho's hand and just rubbing his skin. They just stayed silent, now letting the tension wander around in the air and not saying a thing for minutes. 

Jongho looked up to Yeosang, staring at his hyung and trying to find words to explain what he felt. He felt so cozy, and just so right and he just felt accepted as Yeosang held his hand. 

He opened his mouth to speak, but Yeosang already caught up to him before he could say anything. 

"I can't do this anymore. Let's just go out tonight." Yeosang suddenly said.