seven ; walker scobell

chapter thirty five; all of the girls you've loved before

"every dead end street lead you straight to me, now you're all i need." aotgylb ; taylor swift.

THE KISS WITH DYLAN haunted me all the way home.

I didn't know how I was supposed to run back to Walker arms, knowing what I'd done. How I'd felt. How he'd felt.

Walker knew about the kiss. That wasn't the problem, neither was the betrayal. The problem was what the kiss had done to me, and the lies I'd told myself.

"You still look shaken." Sunny giggled at my dazed expression. "Has it really hit you that hard?"

I rubbed my fingertips lightly over my temple. "I guess I just never thought I'd kiss Dylan again. Even if it was completely superficial, I feel like it shouldn't have happened. I'd known when we kissed for the last time - it just feels so wrong to have broken the fast like that."

Sunny furrowed her brow at me, her legs resting across my lap in the backseat of Sadie's car. "How else were you supposed to 'break the fast'?" She inquired, a rather suggestive undertone in her voice.

I huffed, pulling on the ends of my dark straightened hair. "That's just it. It shouldn't have been broken."

No matter how morally incorrect you want to call me, Dylan Hoffman was my first love. We had the sweet and innocent kind of teenage love, that of pre-understanding to a depressing world. Yes, I had moved on. But he was still the boy that once harboured my seemingly unmatched love. If I had been given more time, more distance... than maybe it would be different.

No, I did not love him. But the memories that the kiss reawakened... it felt like a rapid fire heartbreak all over again.

"Look, May," Sunny began shuffling over the seats. Sadie scowled at her for not having her seat belt on, but the girl digressed. "You can choose how much power this has over you. I don't know how you feel right now, because I've never been forced to kiss my ex on camera. But what I do know is that however much you think Dylan has changed, he isn't really worth the time of day."

"But-"

"But nothing." Sunny abruptly said. "You can choose to let these emotions consume you whole, or you can choose to love Walker even the more harder for them. One thing that's for sure, he'll never break your heart in the way Dylan did."

I knew she was right. I never had my doubts about Walker, but Dylan had a way of weaseling himself into every inconvenient situation. I didn't want him back - if anything, I knew that I needed him out of my life. But it was hard to let go, while bearing the guilt and the what-ifs. The power he had over me could be relinquished be his absence: but he never seemed to leave for as long as I needed him to.

Walkers text lit up my phone, urging us to hurry home because he had a surprise. A cataclysmic eruption of butterflies swarmed in my stomach, just at the mention of his name. I smiled to myself, grasping tight to the locket that hung around my neck.

Nothing would get between us; not really. Not past lovers or lives, no difficult situations or dreadful circumstances. No, our love was a constant. One that we both desperately needed in our lives.

As the Sandler girls and I jumped out of the car and headed to my front door, it was yanked forwards before us. Sadie let out a shocked chuckle as the bright face of Mason Thames was revealed, grinning rather nervously.

"They're here." Mason stiffly announced over his shoulder, a suspicious look on his face. Sunny and I exchanged an odd glance; I made sure to take note of the adoring gleam in her eye as she looked back at the boy.