Just Friends (Draco and Y/N)

'I feel broken'

I wake up the next morning, my eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep and crying the majority of the night. I stare at the ceiling for a new moments and then realise that I didn't wake up from an alarm, but on my own accord. I roll over and check the time and gasp- 10:45. I think I can still make it for break at 11. I assume that Astoria didn't wake me up to give me a break, and I appreciate it, but I'm not going to let him get me down. I'm still going to get on with my life with or without him.

I mainly use magic to help me get ready and I try to look my best and that I haven't been a wreck all night. I sigh and think about going to the great hall, but I don't feel like eating in any way. I check my timetable as I make my way down the stairs and groan. I have potions with Snape, but that doesn't even bother me. It's because it sit beside Draco in that class, and we also usually work in pairs. However, I grit my teeth and just get on with it. I see Astoria in the hallway and she looks at me with confusion.

'Y/b why are you here?' She hissed.
'I felt ill so I went to Madam Pomfery but I'm fine now.' I say with kind of a loud voice so people don't think I was being depressed in my dorm. Astoria catches on and gives me a nod and she links arms with me as we walk down to the dungeons. 'Hey y/n do you want me to switch seats with you? You know..' my friend offers. I desperately wanted to say yes but I didn't want him to think that I was weak or something. I can handle sitting beside him for 50 minutes I'll just ignore him. 'No I'm fine i can handle it.' I struggle to get the words out of my mouth but I assure myself that I'll be fine.

I walk into the classroom and my confidence immediately disintegrates. I see Draco sitting there and I tense up as well as feel extremely nauseous. I slowly walk over to the table and sit down. I try my best to avoid eye contact and just stare down at my textbook. I was praying that it wasn't going to be a practical and my heart was racing when Snape was about to say what we were doing today. 'Since we have a test coming up for the end of our current unit, I would like to see you ALL revising efficiently. That will be all.' I heard his mundane voice drone at the front of the room.

I accidentally gasp a sigh of relief, which I try to cover up as a kind of 'I don't wanna study and I'm tired' type of sigh. I feel extremely on edge at this point but I try to hide it and just look down for the whole time. The bell rings after what seems like hours and I freeze. Which one of us is going to go first? However, Draco jumps up and aggressively shoves his chair in. I can just feel the anger as he walks past behind me.

Astoria and I sit through the next period (thankfully without Draco) and then go to lunch. I still don't feel hungry so I say 'I'm just gonna walk around the grounds Astoria.'
She gives me a concerned look. 'Y/n you haven't eaten since the fight yesterday. It's nearly been 24 hours you HAVE to eat something, cmon. Or at least let me take something up to the common room for you.'
I look at my friend, and I am thankful for how caring she is but I'm really not hungry. However, I don't want her to be worried about me so I just say yes and go outside.

As I walk out the castle doors, I suddenly notice that Draco is leaning against a tree looking the other way. I quickly turn around and walk up to the Astronomy tower. I reach the top and look out over the miles of green. The sun begins to set and I feel a pang of sadness. I remember the night where I was with Draco up here and I feel the tears sting at the back of my eyes. I look down and silently let one roll down my face while filling with regret for what I did.

Soon the quiet tears turn into loud sobs. I know it had only been a day but reality has now properly come to me, making me actually realise that I'll never get him back. Everything was pouring out of me. All the stress of exams, the guilt and sadness.....everything. I gasp for breath and try to control my breathing. I balance myself on the edge of the railing and calm down. I turn round to go back to the common room as I remember that Astoria must be back by now, but I stop in my tracks, frozen.

There he is staring at me, with bloodshot eyes. It looks like he had been crying recently as his face was slightly red, and he was staring at me with sad eyes. 'How long have you been here?' I ask, my voice breaking because of the crying. I could feel myself blushing from embarrassment and I look down. 'As long as I needed to realise.' His voice was hoarse and quiet. 'Realise what?' I say, not really wanting to talk to him. He sighs and runs his hand through his hair shakily. 'To realise the mistake I have made.' He looks me dead in the eyes and before I can say anything back he runs down the stairs.

I stand there for a few minutes and slowly go back to the common room. I keep my head how because it don't want anyone to see my tear stained face. 'Y/n! Wait for me!' I hear Astoria's voice call, but I just storm up the stairs and collapse onto my four poster bed.
'Do you want me to go?' I hear my friend's voice ask, not sure what to do. 'I feel broken.' I whisper. I explain everything to her and hug her tight while crying silently into her shoulder. She strokes my head but that makes me cry even more because it reminded me of him.

She hands me a pasty and indicates for me to eat it. I take it with shaking hands and slowly take a bite. I realise how hungry I was and wolf it down in under 2 minutes. 'Thank you. So much. You've been so kind and I've just gone off doing my own thing.' I say.
'Y/n don't be stupid your reaction is normal. Now come on you're a Slytherin you're strong af. You can get through this. I don't know what will happen in the future with you two but remember that does happen happens for a reason.' She says confidently.
I realise that she's right and try to sit up straighter. 'I suppose your right. I will try. For..' I was about to say her, but I remember what she just said. 'For myself.'

'That's the spirit y/n.' She says proudly.

Ok everyone I really hope that you like this chapter!! Sorry it's been a couple of days but I'm studying a lot. Speaking of that, I'll only be able to post every 3 days or so because I have limited time, and that'll be going on for the next couple of weeks sorry! Oh also I know that Draco marries Astoria and stuff but just forget that I didn't want Pansy to be her friend.