Welcome to the start
The beginning of emotion
My mind is a jumble
And my heart is an ocean
I’m extroverted, yet shy
Wondering if I should bother speaking
Saying what you need to hear
But saying who I am is not ever pretty
So I hide it all inside
Afraid to be really real
Though I say it very often
I’m still afraid to feel
I cry in the corner
But I don’t let you see
I hold myself together
Though I’m breaking at the seams
What is this feeling?
What does it even mean?
Is this what it’s like to feel
Like you’re worth something?
I’m not used to it
It doesn’t make sense
I’d like to say the grass is greener
But I’m still sitting on the fence
I’m afraid to be loved
Because I grew up unaware
Oblivious to my own value
Thinking that life was being fair
It gave me love
But it was just out of reach
I stretched my hand out
Only to find I got beat
So now I just retract
I stay in to myself
Though I’m out to the world
I’m afraid to be felt
Afraid to be loved
Afraid to be real
Afraid to be honest
Afraid to be healed
It doesn’t make sense
Believe me, I know
It never has, never will
But I guess you reap what you sow
The only thing is
I was too young to sow
Too young to realize
How horridly I would grow
Twisted and deformed
All but completely destroyed
Thrown into my own hell
All by one simple choice
But something happened
Amidst all the terror
After the dust had settled
And the noise cleared the air
A man stood there
Majestic in the distance
He walked slowly toward me
Love and kindness in His hands
Those hands, they reached out
Just as mine had once done
But they didn’t take pain
As payment for someone’s fun
They healed my heart
They touched my shattered soul
They restored my trust
And made my pieces once again whole
They taught me true love
And introduced me to grace
He was ever so sweet
And had such a kind face
Now I know love
And fear is on the backburner
Now I can live free
And enjoy a brighter future
