Exit Wounds | Noah Sebastian

T W E N T Y S I X

Noah and I walk out to his car, it's warm today with the sun shinning high in the sky, a cool breeze blows my hair around my shoulders. He settles into the drivers seat and rolls the windows down. He flips through his phone for a few minutes before he settles on music. Dark pop plays through the speakers and we head north on a two lane road. My hair whips arounds my face and I put my arm out to let my hand dance in the wind. Noah reaches across the console to place his hand on my thigh while we drive. We sing along with the radio, I'm thankful the music is loud enough he can't hear me, but I don't really care in this moment.

Everything feels right. I feel like I am supposed to be here, and maybe a little part of me feels like I'm supposed to be here with Noah. It's the perfect day, the weather is nice and the playlist is nostalgic, I'm sitting next to Noah while he drives with seemingly no destination in mind. And he loves me and I love him. I had a group of people I was excited to call friends and to get to know better. I was going to miss Finn and my parents, but I had a new family.  I didn't have to give anyone up.

It was time for me to move on, it was time to start something new. I had started on a new path five years ago, Noah had been a part of my path all along. My next adventure was here, and I felt at peace feeling the certainty of it.

When Noah finally stops, we are in Santa Barbara, several hours away from my hotel and his home. We pop into a small place with a patio by the water, we each have a beer while we eat bar food and listen to the waves crash.

Today had been easy, it was like I was spending my day with Finn. We had talked and laughed and tried to leave the serious stuff for another day. I take my last drink of beer and look up to catch Noah staring at me.

"What are you thinking about, love?"

"I was thinking about how easy today was," I grin at him. It was easy because of him. He made everything just a little bit effortless. He was unserious and adventurous and he loved me.

"Crazy, huh?" he jokes and I kick him lightly under the table. "Let's get back, it's going to start getting dark soon."

The drive back is just as fun as the drive up, it feels like we are dangerously close to driving off the end of the world as we ride along the coast. The air is salty with the spray of the ocean, and Noah is playing old songs and we are screaming along with the radio. I'm no longer worried about what will happen in the future, I'm just happy to be here with him in this moment.

I turn to Noah when we pull up to his house, "this isn't my hotel."

"Nope," he grins, getting out of the car. He reaches for my hand when I meet him at the front of the car. I'm nervous about going in, I didn't want things to be weird with Nick. And what was everyone else going to think, I had shared a bed with Nick two days ago and Noah last night.

I should have known this was unavoidable, it was already New Year's eve. I should have assumed they would have a party going at the house. As we get closer to the house I can hear the light thump of bass from music being played loudly.

"I guess this is a party?"

"Yup," he says kissing my head. He finally opens the door and the house is loud and chaotic again. Jesse and Jolly are having a heated discussion, talking loudly over the music. Sage turns in our direction, she smiles when she sees me and her smile widens when she sees our hands intertwined. She gets up to greet us, pulling me into a hug while Noah holds tight to my hand. Nick looks at us and in a moment of truth I see him glance at our hands and grin at us. He comes over and kisses my cheek, Noah grips my hand a little tighter but he doesn't say anything.

I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding, everything really was going to be okay. I get to keep my new friends and I didn't Yoko Noah and his band mate. And I get to keep Noah. Noah disappears in the kitchen and I sit with Sage.