That Fucker! (Shin Soukoku) [Rewritten]

Chapter 4 - Enemy Line

"Do not move the furniture around, she does not know you're here."

"Wait what? Your sister doesn't know I'm here? What happens if she returns and goes to sleep in her room but I'm there?" Atsushi asks with worry in his voice.

"Then you better hope she kills you swiftly and without pain." He replies with what Atsushi thinks is an attempt at a joke, but Akutagawa gives Atsushi no chance to answer to it, "Secondly, do not enter my room under any circumstance. If you do, I won't take our 'bond' into consideration when choosing the punishment for that."

A shiver runs through Atsushi's back, sticking around in his neck, making him uncomfortable. Akutagawa's tone is cold and serious, and his eyes don't waver away from Atsushi's. It finally settles that this isn't his house, isn't home with his people but instead this is unfamiliar territory – the enemy's territory. And this territory brings him a new wave of anxiety he cannot comprehend. It brings a bitter feeling of old memories and new hatred. The whole situation he's in brings a horrible feeling in his gut, like any moment he might end up being back where he never wanted to return.

Akutagawa has an aura of violence and blood that Atsushi hasn't had enough time to dissect ever before. Because when they meet, he's a part of it too – his blood, their fights, it all adds up to it. But now, seeing Akutagawa in such a calm state makes him see how truly terrifying he is. So terrifying that it reminds Atsushi of all the bad, all the cursed and wicked in the world. And he hates it. He hates how cruel his eyes are and how these cruel eyes look at him so calmly, like they haven't gazed into many innocent eyes moments before their death. And his hands, so slender and defined open the same doors and touch the same cups as his but Akutagawa's hands have been covered in the blood of so many. And he doesn't care. Does he even have the capacity to do so, Atsushi wonders.

"Anything else?" Atsushi barely got the words out, holding back an attitude he decided wasn't worth bringing out.

"Yes. Do not use up all the hot water in the shower." Akutagawa said in a less uptight tone and finally looked away. He started heading back to the kitchen to unpack the groceries and Atsushi was left alone in the hallway.

***

The shower was hot. Scorching even. But Atsushi didn't care, he just wanted to get the chilling feeling out of his body. It still lingered at the back of his neck, looming over him like a ghost without any other purpose other than to make him uncomfortable.

He tried to wash it off with cold water and then with hot but the more he paid mind to it, the more he felt it.

Okay, come on. Ignore it, Atsushi. It's going to go away. He told himself and while he didn't completely believe it, he didn't have any other options, he had to get rid of it if he was to stay here. But he was suddenly so angry. He felt pity for all the victims Akutagawa had killed. How could anyone be this unfeeling?

This kind of anger was something Atsushi felt rarely. He didn't like the way Akutagawa's gaze tried picking him apart, tried to make him feel small. It reminded him of the stained-glass window that put him in the spotlight. It angered him. He knew now, what he never understood before joining the Agency - only cruel people would raise their hand to a child, only cruel people want other's to seem small in front of them. And Akutagawa was cruel. Maybe not in all the same ways that he had seen before but Atsushi felt it.

Atsushi's thoughts and feelings of the past and the present were mixing up and blending like paint on a canvas being repainted by a painter who couldn't stand to see his own creations any longer. It seemed like Akutagawa had opened a can of worms Atsushi had tried so hard to keep shut without even knowing it.

The anger kept flowing through Atsushi but apart from everything there was something different that was fuelling the flame burning inside of him. No one is just born cruel. So, what happened to his enemy to lead him here? Atsushi felt shame for even thinking it. Nothing is ever black and white, there is always a grey area in between things, he knew that. He just wished that this wasn't one of those things and that it could just stay bad. He didn't want to guess the reasons for Akutagawa's morality and the reasons behind his actions but a part of him wanted to peel him open and see his bones and brain just to understand; just to see if his feelings of pity were justified.