[ GawinKrist ] Coffee Sweetness

15. Tell Me... The Reason Of This Kiss

Krist ran his fingers through his hair, ruffling it, the scent of jasmine flowers drifted through the air. He could still feel Bright's cold hand gently touching the side of his face while he was on the way home. His tipsiness gradually thinned out but the trembling feel on his lips was apparent.

How frustrating!!!

He stared at the house that was dark and quiet, the door didn't make any squeaky sound even though the spindly branches with sparse leaves of the ginkgo tree were swaying in the winter wind, the leaves falling and covering the street. 

The smaller guy could neither sleep in the car nor drive back home, his legs got stiffed from sitting for too long, his hands were still on the steering wheel. He looked at his reflection in the rear-view mirror for the twentieth time, then opened the car door and took small steps on the path covered with ginkgo leaves, the rustling sound seemed to dispel all of his worries, torments and questions these past few days. 

Krist rang the doorbell urgently, his breathing became heavier due to the battle within his mind.

He should leave.

...but he couldn't. 

The light shined through the stained-glass window. He heard the footsteps and Gawin's face appeared right after that, Krist approached before the other could even pull up a smile.

Krist's hand lifted, touching the chin as sharp as knife of the other, tenderly, he brought his face to Gawin's until their lips met in a kiss. He could scarcely breathe, his whole body trembled with tension. The stillness was broken only by their deep, staggered breaths. He felt that Gawin's mouth was against his, and his lips almost parted. 

Krist could barely think. 

He's feared this, and now it was happening.

As their lips touched, Krist felt something deep in his stomach, heavy and light at the same time. Gawin gave him butterflies, but they were not really butterflies. Krist bursted into the realization of how he had just made this situation more complicated. 

Gawin didn't show any reaction, feeling unspeakably awkward. Or, maybe Krist did not notice carefully, his eyes still shut and he felt the other's presence through his breath. As Krist pulled away from the kiss which he took the initiative, Krist slowly leaned his head against Gawin's shoulder in the silent night.

He kissed Gawin.

Unlike when Bright kissed him.

He just came a while ago, but he felt like he had stood at the taller guy's house for hours. Krist moved backward with his face bowed down because of embarrasement. The wind ran through his hair and stroked his cheeks, making him completely sober. 

Gawin stood motionless there, his eyes glued to Krist. Their beauty stabbed at Krist's heart like a great knife.

Krist swore the silence was drowning him.

Gawin, who often appeared in Krist's forest of emotions, was stained by his wrong feelings that should not be supposed to exist.

He doesn't like men, he only likes Gawin.

But it seems wrong!

Krist touched his own lips, raised his head and looked straight into the dark, still ocean in the other's eyes, softly muttering, "I'm sorry".

"Krist," Gawin stopped him as soon as the smaller guy turned away, "Tell me, the reason of this kiss."

'I can't say it, Gawin. I can't tell you that I just kissed two men consecutively tonight after twenty seven years of my life. Drinking a lot of alcohol couldn't help me drowning myself in it. It only made me even more frustrated when I realize I already like you, these little feelings of mine, it really scared me.'