Wait ed. (Carla-Billy's Story)

Back Again

Part of me is left in the US... the other part, hindi ko na alam.
I heard he came back exactly two years after their scholarship.
He finally got his dream...
Sabi ko naman, kahit yun lang, masaya na ako.

During that time that he's starting his new life, was the exact time I realized maybe it's time for me to finally go after mine. Wala na rin naman akong babalikan- all I have is me, my dream... and that new reason to continue.

I looked back at the invitation and letter that Aya has sent me.
I might have not come back here, but Aya and I have remained really closed friends.
She knew all that I've been through- those stories, those sleepless nights and crying na hindi nakakarating sa GC.

I'm still that easy go lucky, medyo dramatic na kumpare nila Budoy and Chop chop.
We all remain as good friends, despite of everything.

Wala nang piliang nangyari...
I gave way.
Kung kailan ba naman kami tumanda, saka pa kami mag-aaway away.

I exited the group chat many years back....
I still have that pending invite though, pero I chose not to come back....

Ok na tayo, Carla?
Let's go!

~Guess who's back?~

~Without me?~ Budoy

~Eminem?~ Chopchop

I smiled while crying ugly tears...
Yeah... I'm back.
Finally...

~We're at arrival, Tsong! ~ Budoy

~What?!?~

~Tataguan mo pa kami ha~ Chopchop

~Kailan ako nagtago?~

~Gusto mo talagang sagutin namin yan?~ Budoy

~I miss you, Sis! ~ Aya

~I miss you, too! ~

~Hindi na kami sumama sa pagsundo. Will wait for you sa hotel. Kaya na ng mga tropa mo yan~ Kiko

~Guys! Wag nyo namang painumin agad si Carla... Baka naman pwedeng iuwi nyo sya agad dito~

~Grabe yun o! Sinong may sabing paiinumin namin agad yung kumpare ko~ Budoy said while taking a selfie with San Mig light.

~Loko ka, Budoy. May jetlag pa yan~ Aya

~Mga Tol, I'll meet you at the gate~

~Na-miss kita, Tsong~ Budoy

~Pumapangalawa ~ Chopchop

~Na-miss ko din kayo ~

I wiped my tears, stood up and took my bag from the overhead compartment.

I was reading and re-reading our group chat.
Na-miss ko to...

He's not here.
Galit pa rin kaya sya sa akin?

Carla... stop it.
Ikaw nga dapat yung galit.

And dahil hanggang ngayon, gusto ko pa ring nasasaktan ako, I opened the details of the group chat just to check kung andito nga sya..

Andito naman- Billy 🐧
I went back to our chat- nabasa naman nya lahat.
Siguro, hindi nya lang feel na kausapin ko.
Sino ba naman ako?!

Someone from the past... multong nagbabalik.
Aalis din naman ako...
Hindi ako manggugulo.

I looked at how he has programmed his name.
I didn't dare save his number.
Alam ko lang, kasi asa GC sya.
What for ang pag-save ng number kung hindi naman gagamitin?

I looked at that emoji again.
Tsk! Matagal nang naglayag yung Penguin.
Hindi na bumalik...

———-

I was pushing my trolley, looking left and right.
I thought I'd dread this day... pero, hindi pala.
I'm excited to see them actually.
Even without him-

Ngayon ko lang na-realize, I've deprived myself of my friends just because of the pain that I felt because of him.
Ang unfair ko lang....
Unfair din kasi yung life...

I stopped at the gate, went to stand at one corner since sobrang daming balikbayan sa airport.
Malamang... airport nga ...

I took out my phone, about to send them my location, when I saw a shadow in front of me.
The shadow slowly walked towards me until he was just standing an inch or two away.

I lifted my head to look at him- I didn't need to look up to see who he was actually.
I somehow felt him the moment I stepped out of the gate.

"Hi", I heard him whispered.

And before I could even react, I felt his hand on my face, and when I didn't say a word, and just stood there staring at him, he placed his other hand on the other side of my face, as he repeated, "hi!"

....How I wish that there won't be a time na ...you need to open this letter... but if ever that happens, please don't be a stranger. Say "hi" and I'll try to be as civil as I could.
I hope we could still be friends...

Then his lips were suddenly on mine.
It was gauging at first.
A peck on the lips...
I felt my heart was beating too fast.

Should I push him away?
Should I slap him?
Langhiya! Natanga na naman Carla.

And when he probably felt that there's no violent reaction from my side, I felt him pushed me to walk backwards, until my back met a wall.
Then his lips were back to mine, but this time- it's no longer gauging.
It's longing... it's claiming... it's possessive...

And when he stopped kissing me, he looked at me as if trying to read me.
He stared at my lips, and then at my eyes... there's this anger.. annoyance... and was that love in his eyes?

He was just staring at me, probably waiting for me to say something...
But I don't trust myself in saying anything.. not even a word.

He smiled when he realized what I was doing.
His thumbs are still touching my cheeks, and then he whispered, "I can never go back to being your friend, Carla. I've told you that a dozen of times before..."

Day 1 of being back, and here we were, starting a chaos that we both know the present doesn't deserve.