Her (GxG)

Chapter eight

 "You call me when you get home Cassie." Ignoring her request, I left the pub's bathroom, leaving her alone in it. Of course, I felt shitty about it, but she had Jake, she didn't need me I kept telling myself.

I needed desperately to be alone, alone from her. I needed to reflect – to reflect on what, well on lots, yet on nothing.

I had to admit that it was irresponsible of me to challenge Cassie by throwing innuendos at her. It was also irresponsible of me to stare at her when she was not watching, to dream about her, fantasise about her, act like a jealous little freak. Anyways the point is, I wasn't ashamed about doing all of these before, you know when we first became friends; after all I was instantly drawn to her, she was stunning, fucking gorgeous, she was literally the most attractive human being I have ever laid my eyes upon.

Behaving like this, tho became utterly irresponsible when I realised that I did not have a chance with her. She was straight, always talking about this or that guy she fancied, this or that guy she slept over at, the usual shit girlfriends gossip about.

But all this kind of changed this summer. Her demeanour towards me became clingier and flirtier, her gaze more lingering, her actions more ambiguous, her body language more illicit. Sometimes she'd get a hold of my hand and would intertwine our fingers together when we'd be watching a film in her room and then she'd lean her head on my shoulder. She'd hug me for longer when I would drop her off at home. She'd maintain eye contact with me to the point where I'd forget what I was doing, forget my own thoughts and all I could feel was my relentless heartbeat against my ribcage.

I wasn't confused only because of what happened during a few days ago that was just my breaking point, I guess. She's been tormenting me now for a month. We'd have our usual late-night calls and somehow, she'd turn the conversation into something friends usually don't talk about like what I'm wearing and what she was wearing...like what the fuck.

We'd be swimming in the lake and she'd come up to me and jump on me, locking her arms and legs around me – our faces so close to each other, her eyes exploring my face like she wanted to make sure that what she was doing was affecting me (it was, everything she did was affecting me in a way but I wasn't showing it, I refused to show it).

We'd be at her home, she'd be having a shower after the lake and she'd call me in the bathroom so I could pass her the soap to which I would put my eyes down looking at the floor and pass it to her – she'd of course laugh at me and say that we're both girls and that I shouldn't shy away because I have the same bodily parts as her – nothing special. Yeah, there wasn't anything special about another woman's anatomy, but she wasn't some other woman, she was Cassie my best friend that I was shamelessly attracted to, huge difference.

I didn't have an explanation to why she was doing this. Perhaps she had an inkling about my feelings towards her, so she decided to test it. Perhaps she just liked the feeling of getting me flustered probably loving the feeling of being in control, knowing that her actions hold so much power over me. Or perhaps she did this for with no reason in mind (it was simply what friends did apparently). The most probable answer was that she behaved like this with all of the above in mind.

I was about halfway home when I suddenly stopped in my tracks. How could I have left her there with Jake and Matt? How could I have been so absorbed in my own anger that I disregarded that this was so dangerous.

I turned around and started running towards the pub hoping that she was still there so I could walk her home safely.

I was completely out of breath when I arrived there. I quickly went inside to check if she was still there, not to my surprise she still was. However now she was nearly sitting on Jake's lap, giggling at whatever stupid crap was coming out of his mouth.