Book: Black Fire
Author: @Fire_And_Ice_1813
Review:
The cover is ok, but I think you could use something better something how worthy of your fantasy story. As for the blurb, it was ok too. But you should give us a little glimpse of what she would do with that darkness. And in your title you wrote a rejected mate story and I didn't see any allusion to that. Revise your blurb and write it in the way that would force reader to click on the reads button.
The very first thing that made me frowned when I read the first chapter was iris pov. I had to go back to the blurb to read if you mentioned her and you didn't, then I realized it was still Alexia and I have to say if your character has more than one name, state all of it in the blurb...example Mirabel Samantha White. So that the characters would be aware it is still the main lead.
The first chapter was good. You made a quick background check of her life and informed us of her mate who rejected her though you didn't give us any detail. The pact I don't get is her going to school after she was sent out... Wasn't she supposed to look for a home first? Then she meets her new friend amd I like that part because it felt simple and cute.
The second chapter you gave us the long awaited background story of Micheal and Alexa and I too was shock when he apologized though I can't believe him. Then you said she went back home which brought me confused like didn't her uncle send her out? Which home is she talking of?
In the next chapter you wrote in the third person POV, I know your opening note was meant to be funny but it isn't necessary. The next chapter, Alexa has a flashback of a past event with Michael. You wrote that in bold and that was painful to read. Instead use italic like this it is better for the eyes. Plus at the start you wrote beginning of flashback, end of flashback. No need to write that just say; I remember some years ago when... With that only readers will understand that it is a flashback.
Personally, I can't get enough of your story. It's beautiful, it's well written and I really like it. But you stated in your blurb that Alexa would welcome the darkness and whatsoever and now you are just retailing the event when her life was perfect I guess but I would advise you to add a prologue at the start. There you would describe her accepting her darkness, becoming bad because people hurt her too much. Make it poetic, make it beautiful and you can even write of Alisa begging het not to accept her darkness, then when she dorsn you can tell is that before we get to that part, you would narrate the reason for her choice and how people kept on breaking her.
I don't know if you get what I'm saying but I feel like it would be a perfect beginning for your story. Then you can continue with your first chapter and all. I really appreciate your story, do some minor punctuation and spelling editing and it would be awesome. Also look for a cover that would fit it more.
