SLUTS - S.White

chapter two

"What do you mean he's left school?" I yell, trying to be louder than the music. The bunkers  are full of students, all present for this year's election party that Sasha organized in hope of gaining some of their votes.
"His parents withdrew him, he goes to an all boy school now." Sasha explains. She's catching me up on what I've missed this morning, on all the new fresh gossip and I was right. Hartley will never change. More had happened in the past hours than during the whole break, and if my gut is right, I believe it's far from being over.
"Damn."
Well there's no chance now of bumping into the one who's made me feel like I never mattered. Dusty left Hartley and I can't understand why I'm not happier, more relieved.
"Yeah, fuckboys squad is over." Missy adds as Spider and Ant walk by us. I'm not in the mood to fight with a cocky blond so I avoid to meet his light blues and instead, turn to Sasha.
"What else?" I ask, eager to find out more or eager to change the subject. Sasha frowns, trying to recall what had happened earlier today that's worth mentioning. Then her face lights up, her smile stretching her lips.
"There's a new guy, very farm-core called Rowan."
"Ant tried to chop his dick off." She chuckles, bringing Missy along with her.
"Spider and the guys finally walked out in SLTs and did all of us a favor." Missy tells. I can't escape the guys nicknamed after bugs, even if I want to. They're Hartley's biggest attention seekers, always having to have a say in every conversation even those who don't concern them.
And I hate that I have to live next to one of them.

"You did it, right. You're Bird Psycho." Amerie calls out after Spider.
Well, at least I'm not living next to her. Drama is her middle name and she loves to remember us why. Spider and Amerie argue for a little while, like two kids. A bit like we did this morning.
"What's a Bird Psycho?" I whisper to Missy as we all listen to the altercation.
"Someone put a dead bird on Harper's bag, Amerie is going full on barking dog."
A dead bird?
That can't be Spider.
"Enjoy the party, cheezel breath." The blond mocks, it's like he never learned how to properly have a conversation with someone else. Always insults and low blows, I swear. Him and Ant leave inside, soon followed by Missy and Sasha. But I can't seem to let this one go. Even if it's Spider. Maybe because deep down, my brain knows it owes one to him after this morning. Plus, Amerie looks so convinced that whoever killed that bird is my idiot neighbor but I know for a fact, that it can't be.
So, I will never understand my brain for what it's about to do but I walk to her and her group.
"It's not him, Amerie." I defend Spider.
Ugh, I'm so disgusted by myself right now. They all look confused on why I'm talking for him. "He's scared of birds. Can't even touch one." I add, trying to convince them but they all have hints of amusement in their faces. They don't believe me at all.
"Oh, come on." Darren grunts.
"Why would I make this up, I don't even like the guy." I sigh. "Look, when we were kids, he got swooped by a swoopy boy magpie. It took a chunk out of his neck."
"As if." Amerie crosses her arms.
"Believe me or not, Spider's got ornitophobia."
"What's–" Amerie starts but gets quickly cut off by Quinni.
"Fear of birds." She explains to those who didn't know.
"Thanks, Quin." I smile to her before my gaze returns to the leader of the group. "Do what you want with that information."
Then I walk inside.
There's a good amount of people in the bunkers, all drinking or smoking or chatting. Sasha did great with the purple light, it's giving the cold grey walls some ambiance. My phone opened in my hand, I gaze around for Sasha or Missy or for a familiar face who might want to chat.
Instead, I find a text waiting for me.

Mum
19:45
Still at the restaurant, will be back around 9.
Take care of yourself and Archie xxx

But even if I want to have some fun, I can't stay long. I've got a twelve year old boy to go find before he turns our whole house upside down. I finally spot blue hair in the middle of the crowd, dancing with a brunette and I immediately join them. Missy and Sasha shriek and hug me as we all start to dance in the middle of the bunkers. I let the music embody me for the time I have left with my friends. Not that I don't want to be back with Archie, I do. But sometimes, I wonder what it would feel like to not have the responsibilities I have with him. I wonder what my life would be if I wasn't always so worried about being there for him. If I had parents who cared more about their real children than their stupid job. For once, I could be a teenager. A real reckless one who doesn't have a care in the world except for the present moment.
That's the dream.
But I love my brother too much to let them fuck up like they did with me. And I care too much.
That's my best and worst quality.
That's also the reason why I'm now sitting in my car, Spider passed out in the passenger seat.
When I told Amerie about his phobia, I never think she'd used it against him. But it nearly took her a few hours before she brought a bird to the party. She pushed the blond on the floor, putting the white bird in his face until he screamed and—he will never admit it—cried a few tears.
Ant physically couldn't leave the party because he was too high to drive and said he'd be sleeping in his car so I took Spider under my arm and dragged him into my own vehicle.
Never thought that's how my night would have turned out to be.
"Where am I?" Spider groans, slowly waking himself up. "Why does it smell like fries in here."
"Shut up, it does not." I exclaim, offended.
I sniff around, quietly so he doesn't hear that he made me doubt myself but maybe he's right. Archie and I did have some McDonald's for dinner last night and ate it in the car. "And a thank you Danielle would have been the least."
"Thank you, dickhead." He says instead with a big smile, proud of himself for rhyming Danielle and dickhead. I sense that same smile slightly turn back into a straight line, making me squirm in my seat. So uncomfortable.
"You told Amerie." His voice is low and quiet but makes my whole body shake with shame. I shouldn't feel bad, I told it for his own sake. To prove he's innocent.
"No." I bite down the lie.
"You're the only one who knows about the birds."
"I'm pretty sure you told Ant." My eyes are glued on the road in front of us, too afraid to meet his gaze. Too afraid for him to see right through me. I don't know how, maybe because we grew up together, but Spider always seems to know exactly how to read me. It's terrifying.
"Stop gaslighting me."
I scoff. Amazed by how the tables have turned when we both know he's the one who usually gaslights people. All day. Ever day. It's a sport to him, toying with a person's feelings and truest, deepest insecurities.
"Oh and how's that working out for you, now? That's what a five minutes conversation with you feels like."
"I don't gaslight." He retorts, offended but he's lying through his teeth. If Gaslighting was a land, he'd be the king of it.
"That's gaslighting."
"Whatever. The point is you fucking told on me. We swore on Twizzlers."
We did.
But the power of Twizzlers has not the same influence as it did when we were kids. It doesn't mean anything anymore.
"We were nine!" I yell before sighing all my frustration. Every time I argue with him, it gives me a headache. "And who cares, now they know for a fact that you're not Bird Psycho. I did you a favor." My voice is calmer now. Less angry and more needy. Because I deeply want for him to believe my good intentions so that this conversation can end. It takes a few seconds too long for him to talk back. It makes me glance his way and that's when I see his furrowed eyebrows. As if it's impossible for him to understand my reasons.
"That's very un-Dani of you."

I park into my driveway, ready to be at each other's throats again but that's when I spot brown hair and puppy eyes on the porch. A basket ball in between his hands.
"Archie." I exhale. He looks so sad, my heart breaks in a thousand of million pieces.
"Shit." Spider exclaims, a hand passing through his hair before he jumps out of the car. I quickly follow behind him but he's faster and gets to Archie first.
"You forgot." My little brother quietly states, not even looking up from the ground. I bet there's tears in his eyes and that's because of him.
He did this. Like always, Spider disappoints.
"I know, buddy." Spider crouches on the ground, reaching for him. Archie doesn't jerk back like he did with me this morning and I'm a tiny bit jealous of how forgiving he seems to be with our neighbor. "I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you. How about a game now?"

My phone pings in my hands and I know I'm about to be disappointed again. For the who knows how many times tonight.

Mum
22:39
Sleeping at the restaurant, the service lasted longer than we thought.

"So a game. Me and you. How's that sounds?" Spider smiles, straightening himself back up.
"Spider, you're drunk." I whisper in his ear, a bit irritated. 
"So?" He shrugs. "I want to play with my boy Archie." He says louder this time for my brother to hear and that's what makes him finally look up. He's got that childish glint in his eyes that makes it hard for me to say no.
"It's late, Arch. You've got school tomorrow." I scrunch my eyebrows, thinking it might help him understand.
"Please." Archie grabs my hand, pleading with his big brown puppy eyes.
"Please." Spider adds, following my brother's lead by grabbing my other hand, literally begging on his knees. I never thought I would see Spencer White begging, it's a first and probably a last but I'm not going to pretend as if I'm not enjoying every seconds of it.
"Ten minutes. Then, you go to bed." I finally give in. Archie jumps in place, excitement taking over.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you." He hugs me before running across our yard and to the White's driveway. Spider and I both chuckle at the sight of a happy little boy.
"Two un-Dani things in a row. Who are you?" He whispers in my ear, his lips brushing the side of my cheek. I shiver, not because of him but because it's getting colder at night and I'm only wearing a mesh shirt.
"You know I'm nice with everyone except you, right?" I cross my arms on my chest, before he could notice I was getting cold on other parts of my body.
"And I thought we were friends." He playfully pouts while taking a step forward. Our bodies collide for a few seconds, that's his way of provoking me but I'm quicker. And used to this. So I lightly push him back so he wouldn't be so close to me.
"Be for real, Spider. We haven't been friends since year five. So please, for once in your life, do what you're told and get Archie home in ten."
Then I leave without letting him the chance of talking back.
For once, I'm the one getting the last word.
I'm the one in power.
Will it last? Probably not since Spider does what Spider does best. But at least tonight, I can sleep on my two ears knowing he probably struggled to get shut down by none other than his old childhood best friend.
Me.