Meanings

Pain

A pain, when the word 'pain' is said or mentioned one can think of the dictionary's definition of that. "Physical suffering or discomfort caused by illness or injury" or in general, just suffering, this pain can be physical, mental, emotional and whatever... But one thing is for certain, once you feel it, you'll feel an extreme surge of emotions, whether sadness, madness or grief which is just the same of sadness. This affects you greatly and sometimes.. the damage cannot be healed by time.

Have you ever felt a pain that you thought was very unbearable? What did it feel like? Was the grief enough for you to think to end your life just once? I bet it was.. if someone were to ask me what that pain felt like, I would most certainly tell them "it's bearable, I'm okay now," is that a very familiar response? Hmm.. I'm guessing some of you guys told at least some along those words to somebody. Anyways, back to my response, yeah, just as you guessed or knew right from the start— it's a lie, a lie to hide myself, a lie to protect what I think is myself, a lie to make them feel like I'm okay— like it doesn't hurt to live like this. The truth. The 'truth' that I can't and never will leave my mouth, the 'truth' that will stay in my chest for as long as I need, the 'truth' that will forever be stuck in my throat in an argument or conversation, kinda feels very heavy if you ask me.

Now.. back to the veryyy first question I guess? Have you ever felt a pain that you thought was very unbearable? Why, yes, I did have, and maybe that's what I've been feeling every time I think of myself. It's a pain, a pain that when you first feel it you will think 'oh, I feel like I can't take this pain anymore', that pain of like being stuck by not thousands but millions of needles but that feeling goes turn on and off. One time you feel that pain then next, you feel numb, then it turns on again but this time in addition to millions of needles piercing you, a knife, struck your heart so deep— so deep that you feel like collapsing, feeling like you just want to cry yourself to sleep and many other emotions mixing in your head, you feel dizzy from all this thinking, then think, you think that 'I want to turn off my brain for a second'.

Asking for help..
Family?
-most of the problems come from there

Friends?
-can't have them know every little thing about you 'cause they might feel like a dumpster that you can just dump your feelings, then they start talking bad about you..

Love one?
-Nah, too busy carrying my luggage why would I bother to share them only to cause problems to the other person too? And besides we have our own individual problems too.

Hmm.. who else... Ah!
Authorities or like people who are your higher ups?
-Pftt, what will they do to your problems? Keep them to yourself

Sigh.. I guess we have to cut this short because if I want to see another day, then I better get some sleep...
Byee!~~

..oh would you look at that! You just finished reading some random person's rant! Congratulations! I hope it satisfied your bored self or maybe it didn't! Well you just read 584 words! :)