Chapter 3

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Dear Friend
Thank you for the gun. You saved me. Thankchu so much. My mummy is making Paiasam and I bring some for you 2. I will wait for you by Mother Mary fontain. Please come.

   My heart melted. The spelling mistakes made it a lot cuter. He even had the sock doll inside his bag which meant he carried it every day to school. I looked at the midget who was fast asleep and placed my hand near his. Sparks.

   I put his letter back in his bag and I left the room holding my letter. I crush it as I feel an uneasy feeling in my chest. Is this guilt? I knew the next day he was going to be disappointed. I knew it was a foolish idea to give him those letters. I knew I shouldn't have but I did. Guess I'll just stop. It's never too late right?

   I went outside and looked at the sky. "WHY AM I HERE! WHY CAN'T I LEAVE?" I screamed. Immediately the neighbour's dog started barking at me. "Oh shut up!" It began to wag its tail and I knew that because Lassie (the dog) always stood by a rusted tin bucket by the wall. Every time it saw me, Lassie ran to the wall and its tail would hit against the bucket making a drumming sound. I heard it bark again, and I shook my head. I lay down in the mud and stared at the sky. I felt a void growing inside of me. It circled in an orbit numbing my body little by little until I felt nothing again.

   4 o'clock and he was still not home. He was usually home by 3.45. I heard the panic in his parents' voice outside. It was all my fault. I promised myself to protect that child only to be the one hurting him. I grabbed a water bottle and flung it at the wall. The bottle broke and all the water spilled on the floor. Cara walked in. Her eyes fell to the mess and she gasped in shock.

    "Cara, what the hell did you do?" I watched her parents march in. I smirked. Serves her right.

   They were too busy lecturing her to notice Mickey walking into the house. His shirt was stained. It took me a moment to realize it was the payasam. I mentally yelled at myself. A moment passed by as my legs stayed glued to the floor. His parents were still too busy talking to Cara. Uh, how do I fix this? Taking the route through the backyard, I ran outside and grabbed the latch of the gate. I started hitting it against the metal rods. Mickey jumped at the sudden noise and turned around. I caught him staring directly at me. I froze.

   "Mickey? What happened to your shirt?" He turned around to look at his mum. I walked away to the backyard and laid on the grass. His dirty face covered in mud and tear stains stayed imprinted in my mind. I sighed and closed my eyes.

   I promised myself never to get close to people after what they did to me yet here I am. I broke my promise for a boy once again. Is it difficult to keep a promise? It was and yet my dear readers, I just like you will go on to make many more promises that I couldn’t keep.

   Later that day to my surprise, Mickey had a friend over. A little girl with big glasses ran around the house as Mickey chased her. I sat by the backyard stairs and watched them. Apparently Mickey's book got mixed with hers, so she came with her mum to hand it over.

   "Layla! Layla! Wait!"

   Oh, so this Layla! I chuckled as I watched them. She turned around and he giggled. He showed her his truck and she giggled in return. It was adorable.

   "Hey Layla, wanna play barbies?" Cara asked holding a bunch of dolls. Layla looked at her and her eyes lit up. She followed Cara and Mickey followed behind. "These are for girls only," Cara said as soon as he entered her room. I clenched my fist. "B-but..." Mickey trailed off, pouting. He opened his mouth but then nodded and walked away.

   "Where are you going Layla?" I was just as surprised as her to see Layla follow behind.

   "I'm going to play with Mickey," She replied causing Cara to huff. The biggest smile crept up on Mickey's face showing off his dimples. My reaction mirrored his. Rolling her eyes, Cara threw her dolls in defeat and called Michael to play. So thanks to Layla the three of them ended up playing with dolls merrily the entire evening.

   After playtime was over, Mickey got to share some payasam with Layla. I wish I had a camera to capture how happy he looked. His pupils were big as they stared at her. His dimples popped every time he left a small giggle. I was just in awe.

    According to his narration to Pooh that night, Layla had felt bad about not being able to meet him at the fountain so she came home to have payasam. Nah I didn't roll my eyes this time.

   Like always I sneaked into his room and slipped another letter in his bag. It was an apology. Mickey, I'm sorry I didn't show up yesterday. I'm very shy around boys Mickey. That is why I didn't come. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me :( I had written drawing a big sad face. I know I know I said I won't but for some reason I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to communicate with him. To let him know he has a friend in me even though he will never know me. I'm stupid I know... but I mean he thought I was Layla. Might as well go along with it, right?

***

A few days later, while I was lying in the backyard I heard screaming. I sprinted up and ran inside. In Martha's room, I found Mickey crying. He had lipstick smeared on his lips and on his eyelids. I giggled. I wanted to caress his cheeks and tell him how adorable he was. But I hid and watched quietly instead.

   "Why can't he just be normal for once, Deny?!" Martha, Mickey's mum cried. "His teachers all complain that he doesn't want to play with the boys and only plays with girls. Because of that, he is getting bullied." Well maybe if the boys weren't such douchbags, he would play with them, I thought.

   "Martha it is just a phase. He will get out of it. He is just doing what he sees you and Cara doing. He will grow out of it. Let him be," Deny, his father consoled her. He then knelt in front of Mickey and whipped Mickey's mouth with his thumbs.

   "Listen, Son, Boys don't wear makeup or lipstick." 

   "Then why does mummy wear it?" His voice came out squeaky because he was crying.

   "They wear it to look pretty. Boys don't because we don't need to look pretty." 

   "But mummy is pretty even without makeup," he replied. Deny and Martha exchanged looks. Martha clung to him and cried even more. Mickey just stood there in confusion.  

   "Well, mummy wears it to look extra pretty. Boys need to look handsome so we don't wear it, okay?" His dad said a little annoyance in his tone. Mickey nodded and Deny sent him to his room.  

   Fuck you Deny, I thought and walked away.

   I waited until they fell asleep. I went into their room and grabbed Martha's lipstick. A brand new costly one. I knew exactly where she kept all the new stock. The box is right on top of the cupboard. I knew she wouldn't realize her new Maybelline lipstick was gone because she already had one. So I took it along with a tiny bottle of glitter I found in the box. I happily strolled back to Mickey's room holding a small paper bag in which I had a letter from "Layla" and a gift. I walked into his room and sat on the floor. I eagerly started digging into his bag. Gosh, he would be so happy when he sees this. This could be his birthday gift. Surely better than that ugly-

   "Who are you?"
 
    My whole body became paralysed as I found myself staring face-to-face with the little midget. Uh oh...

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