The Boy with Pretty Eyes

Chapter 5: Reluctant

Should I try again?  This question echoed in his mind, trying over and over again, only for all his efforts to be in vain. Even though he believed he deserved it, he had to admit it hurt.

It hurts to know that you're unwanted, and even more so the reason.

Toby tried, but every time a little bit of his heart shattered. His whole world was at risk, sure it was only two people. But those people made such a difference in his life, they didn't just change Toby's routine. They changed everything, his mood, to the way he thought.

Why did I have to ruin it? Why couldn't I keep my damn mouth shut? Most customers that walked in, asked if the man was alright. This was because of his watery eyes and overall, just sad appearance, but they wouldn't ask this to his face. But to the only people behind the counter, Fit & Pac.

Regular customers were aware that all three of them seemed really close, so all during this shift they were asked the same question. "Is your friend, okay?" Both of the men took the question differently, Pac's face drained while Fit was more annoyed.

But they had one thing in common, it was the word friend that did it for them. Fit was annoyed that customers still considered them friends, but more annoyed that he himself still thought of Toby as a friend. His best friend.

Pac was different, he was hurt every time he looked over at Toby. He did this constantly, but it hurt him more turning his back on Toby whenever he spoke a word. Pac wanted to listen to what he had to say, but he couldn't deny that some things can't be pardoned. No matter how much you want it to be.

Toby was tired of helping customers, he couldn't distract himself. And it didn't help that most people avoided toby, seeing that it was like he would break down in tear any second now.

He instead stood in the front corner of the store, the glass casing displaying the beautiful arrangement of flowers. All the people passing by and pointing at the flowers, or maybe at Toby.

He just watched the busy street, paying close attention to every little detail of the image. He saw a man kiss & wave goodbye to a very attractive woman, but the moment she went out of sight. The man picked up his phone and smiled, as Toby read his lips, he could make out a sentence. "I just dropped off my wife, there's no need to worry. She won't find out about us, trust me."

That's when Toby noticed the beautiful ring on the man's finger, it was a golden ring with rhinestones engraved into the sides. Toby had never felt more disgusted by a person than he did right now.

I know jumping to conclusions isn't the way to go, but the wording. He didn't want to believe the man was cheating, but it sure looked like it. Toby thought that cheating was wrong, and he despised seeing it happen.

The woman had gone into the building next to him, it was an office. But due to the man's clothing and the woman's jewelry, he could assume that they lived a pretty comfortable lifestyle. Why would he put all of that at risk? He didn't understand. The car had driven away by now, but he could still see the man.

He looks to have everything he needs, why doesn't he see that? Why would he just throw it all away?

Then Toby came to the realization that he was criticizing himself. I had everything I needed, but I was to blind to see that. And I threw it all away, and for what?

In the end it wasn't worth it, I let my own selfish desires control me. He thought about the man, how he was putting everything at risk. And for what? His own selfish desires.