𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐄𝐑 ❧ S.HEIZOU

006.

006, TRAPPED (KIDNAPPED).

"I guess you could say you went from detective to victim...?"

"...*sigh*."

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  Waking up with a sharp pain in his head wasn't exactly ideal, but Shikanoin Heizou had known it was part of the job when he was (unfortunately) assigned to it. Taking care of a so-called difficult case was easy; the others had been misled by the trails left behind by the criminal, and had failed to notice that the criminal's intent was not to murder, but instead, it was to steal some potions from the alchemist's stash; so after solving this fun case, Heizou was more than happy to hand the apprehending duties to another officer, but apparently his superiors had other ideas.

  So here he was, tied up on a chair in a dark room, a ringing in his ears and an annoying fly by his ear that he couldn't swat away. Of course they just had to make him act as a hostage to catch the criminals. Whatever it takes to bring justice, he sighed. At least this way, those thieves won't think that their strategies had failed and evacuated, leaving the Tenryou Commision chasing after them for another week or so.

  Maybe things would be better if he was alone. He could've tried to savor the peace and wait patiently for the others to arrive, not listen to the buzzings of a human-sized fly next to him, talking and teasing him of his situation the very moment he was awake.

  "...I thought you worked alone, Name."

  He mumbled, and Heizou could feel the strain in his throat. Perhaps he shouldn't have eaten too much katsudon the other day and drink more water, but could anyone really blame him when he was treating himself for solving another mystery so effortlessly? It's not his fault that the station's food was disgusting.

  "Well, I get lonely sometimes, you know."

  Name (the human-sized fly who probably never stopped yapping even when he was still asleep) shrugged, sitting on a box at the corner of the room, their legs swinging over the edge as they smiled at him. Their hands were behind their back, supporting their weight as they leaned backwards.

  It's always a wonder that they appear wherever he goes. At first, he thought that they were stalking him, but it just turns out that their schedules always aligned with each other. Knowing that the number one criminal of Teyvat has a schedule was surprising, but perhaps he should've expected it when they were so efficient; climbing the ranks in a mere few years. Turns out they weren't lying when they said their schedule was always packed, huh?

  "Are you hiding something?" Heizou asked once more, hoping to use this chance to figure out this enigma before him. Their posture never stiffened, remaining the same leisurely look, but the corner of their lips twitched, and it was all Heizou needed as confirmation. "Is your intuition telling you that?"

  "No. Just a curious question." He sighed, knowing that he could never read the criminal before him unless they allowed him to. Even his intuition seemed to never say anything about them, like they were seemingly innocent and harmless, like they weren't committing heinous crimes before him and posing for the camera at the end. "So, are you?"

  "Maybe a cup of water." Name hummed, that same cheeky smile appearing once more. The detective raised an eyebrow at this, questioning the sincerity of their words with his actions, but he couldn't say anything else before he was interrupted by the door being slammed opened, bright rays of artificial light shining through and lighting up the dim room.

  "We have a hostage in here, so you better-" The masked criminal said, and Heizou could only grimace at his prideful voice after adjusting to the light. Why are they calling the Tenryou commission and alerting them of his whereabouts? Are they dumb? Or is he missing something?

  "What? What do you mean, 'who's the hostage?' We have your little helper over here, the annoying brat that won't stop yapping about some 'enemies to lovers' delusion,-"

  ...What.

  Heizou blinked. Was he not the only hostage here? Also, what does he mean by 'won't stop yapping about some 'enemies to lovers' delusion? Sure, he admit that he may be an annoying brat sometimes, but he wasn't insane enough to ramble on like tha-

  "We have Name here! The so-called number one criminal of Teyvat! Kreideprinz, you better hand us the rest of your stu- What do you mean 'we can keep them'?! We don't want them either! Just gi- "

  Oh.

  Suddenly everything makes so much more sense. The realization felt like a whiplash, knocking his senses out and giving him a new understanding of this absurd reality. Honestly, Heizou didn't know if he was feeling exhilarated or exhausted. Maybe a mix of both. Maybe more exhausted.

  "Is that Mr.Albedo? My favorite mad scientist! Tell him I'll be back in a few minutes, just give me a second..." Heizou hears Name say, although they were immediately shut up with a scowl from the criminal on the phone. They raise both hands up, as if defeated, and Heizou finally sees that they were hiding a pair of cuffs all along— Or, rather, a pair of opened cuffs that's dangling off their hand.

  "Wait– You–!" Before the criminal could even continue their argument over the phone, Name threw the cuffs at the criminal, promptly knocking them out by the sheer force of it. Heizou would've questioned the laws of physics and their strength if he wasn't so surprised by it. You're telling him that apparently Name could've folded him but chose to run? Are they really a masochist that lives off the thrill?

  "Detective, I know what you're thinking. I'm not a pervert." Name cleared their throat, tying up the criminal with some rope they had found while Heizou was still asleep. "Don't make assumptions. Do you have a degree in psychology or something?"

  "Not really, but I did have some second degree burns before! Not a fun experience, I'd rate it a 3 out of 10." They sighed, leaving the room for a moment and coming back with a glass of water. Walking towards Heizou who was still tied on the chair, Name held his chin and tilted his face upwards, placing the cup on his lips with a teasing smile on their face.

  "Your buddies will be coming soon, but I might as well feed you some water first, right? Don't worry, it's not poisoned. I checked myself."

  "..."

  "Come on, have I ever poisoned you?"

  "...There's always a first."

  "This occasion isn't special enough, if it were me, I'd make all our firsts special!"

  Hoping to drown out their voice, Heizou drank the water, praying that this water would drown him too. Too bad it wasn't enough, because before he knew it, he had finished all of it. With a satisfied smile, Name placed the cup on Heizou's head, hoping to balance it (but failed due to his irritated shaking), before placing it down on a table next to him.

  "Alright, my job is done here. I'll see you later, detective!"

  "Wait-" Heizou exclaimed, hoping to delay them until his subordinates arrived, but Name had already jumped out of the window, disappearing into the streets and leaving no trace. The detective groaned, throwing his head back as he relaxed into the chair, tugging at the restraints in hopes of loosening it. Might as well be comfortable until the others came to his rescue, right?

  "...At least help untie me before you go..."

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Written on: 5 april 2024.

(1273 words)