Hate You - LN

16

"Just his better half."

Blake blushes. "He knows it too."

It was my turn to laugh. We both order our coffees and take them out onto the patio area out the back of the café. "So what should you not tell me but you're going to tell me anyway?"

Blake takes a sip of her coffee and looks at me over the top of her mug. "Lando was pretty upset in Bahrain when he found out you were back. Oscar and I clocked it pretty much right away, but he was hard to get to open up. Thankfully, the dude has a soft spot for me."

"Does he now?" I raise my eyebrow.

"Not like that. Some shit went down last year and I think Lando still blames himself a bit for what happened to me. Of course, I don't blame him for anything, but he's big on bullying himself it seems."

I nod. "Yeah, he's been like that for a long time. What happened to you if you don't mind me asking?"

Blake hesitates for a moment before she squares her shoulders. "Mark, Oscar's old manager attacked me at a club in Monaco last year. Oscar didn't know at that point that he was harassing me. But Lando had found out. I focussed so much afterwards on making sure Oscar didn't blame himself for what happened to me, but I'm still working on Lando."

"I'm sorry that happened to you."

Blake shrugs. "I survived and wasn't severely injured. Oscar and Lando made sure of it. But anyway, back to Lando."

"Yeah, why was he so out of it when he found out I was going to be his physio?"

Blake clears her throat. "Because he still cares about you, and he is broken because he doesn't know why you left. He thinks it's something he did, and I don't buy it."

My shoulders sag and I put down my coffee. "But he hates me?" my words are quiet and Blake gives me a sympathetic look.

"He doesn't hate you, he's just- well you know what I won't make excuses for him. If he's treating you like shit then that doesn't deserve justification. But at least from my perspective, Lando cares about you. He's just hurt because he doesn't understand why you left."

I sigh and run my fingers through the hair I left down around my shoulders. "I left because I'm scared to get hurt again. I know it sounds stupid. And it was stupid, it took me walking away to realize that."

"Then why not go back?"

I stared down at my coffee. "I was injured the day I had planned to call him. By the time I'd recovered enough that Charles gave me my phone back, Lando had blocked my number."

"Mind if I ask what happened to you?"

I looked up at Blake. She's told me her horror story. I suppose I could tell her a bit of mine. "My dad attacked me, and put me in the hospital for two weeks."

"Well, that's a super shitty thing to have in common with someone."

I laughed lightly. "Yeah, I guess so."

"So why not tell him now? I mean, let me know if I'm overstepping here. But it seems you miss him too."

I shrug. "I guess it's been hard. It seems like the only times we talk is when we're insulting each other."

Blake looks deep in thought. "Does he know you were attacked?"

I shake my head. "No. The Leclercs helped me keep things secret. Not many people know."

"Would you tell him, given the chance?"

"Honestly, I don't know the answer to that. Yes, I left him, but he's also spent the entirety of the last three weeks proving to me that he wants nothing from me outside of work. I think even if I told him why I left I would regret it because I would just be opening myself up to more hurt. It might help him get over me, knowing why I left. But telling him what happened to me makes me vulnerable." I take a sip of my coffee. "And I hate the feeling of being vulnerable."

Blake looks sadly at me. "Do you want to know how I got through what happened to me?" I look back up at Blake, encouraging her to go on. "I realized that you can't ever forget what's happened to you, especially if it's something that hurt you. But learning to accept it and move on despite the fear is what allows you to live your life. Fear makes life miserable, it keeps you looking over your shoulder and putting up big walls around yourself. You can protect yourself sure, those walls don't only protect, they deflect any good things that happen to your heart too."

I pause, taking in her words. "You're too wise for your age Blake. No wonder Lando had a soft spot for you."

Blake Laughs. And I change the topic. "So what's your and Oscar's story? How did you meet?"

She smiles widely. "Do you want the fake version or the real version?"

"What?"

Blake's smile only grows wider.