Forever a Friend In Love

Chapter 6

When I woke up this morning, I felt more dead than alive. It had been impossible to fall asleep. Every time I closed my eyes, my thoughts would drift to him and no matter how many times I told myself to stop, I couldn't.

I didn't make plans with Theo today. As much as I love seeing my best friend, I needed a day to regroup and figure out what I wanted to do.

I was up earlier than I would've liked due to the commotion of my parents hunting for Aiden's soccer gear. Once my family was out the door, I rolled out of bed and made my way downstairs for a cup of coffee and something to eat. With a toasted bagel on a plate and a warm mug in my hands, I went back to my room. I changed out of my pajamas into sweats and hoodie and after tying my hair in a messy bun, I curled up in a blanket to eat.

I've decided to hide away here for the rest of the day, listening to music and occupying myself with, well, anything. I worked on homework for a while and when that got too boring, I packed away and lay across my bed, listening to the blaring music in my ears. I'm so distracted by it, I don't hear any of the messages coming in on my phones until someone calls me.

The girly pop ringtone drags me out of my own head and I fumble to answer it, not bothering to check who was calling.

"Hello?" I answer it loudly, turning down the volume on my speaker.

"Hey, Cass."

Theo. I start to smile at the sound of my best friend's voices but I quickly will it to disappear.

"Hey."

My response is short and distant. If I sound busy, maybe he won't ask what I'm doing today. If he asks to hangout, I know I won't be able to say no.

"You sound tired." He says.

"Uh, yeah. I didn't sleep well and I've been doing homework."

"Trouble sleeping?" His voice shifts into a teasing tone, "Was the evil, ugly witch chasing you in your dreams again?"

Normally I never turn down a chance to banter with him, and as much as I love it, the joking and teasing are some of the things that made me fall for him, and I really don't want it right now.

"No. It just took me forever to fall asleep. And I got up earlier than I would've liked."

"Oh."

I can hear the disappointment in his voice. Immediately I feel guilty and wish I had at least engaged in our friendly banter.

"Hey, I'm sorry." I quickly apologize.

"Nothing to apologize for. I was going to ask if you want to make plans but you sound like you could use a nap. I'll pick you up tomorrow. See you in the morning."

He hangs up without giving me a chance to speak. I toss my phone to the side and curl up in a ball.

I can't believe I had failed so miserably. I promised myself I would be his best friend and that was not it. I really want to hit myself for letting my feelings get in the way.

I debate calling him back, but as much as I don't want to admit it, I really need the rest of the day to sort everything out. I'm completely stumped on how I'm going to fix all this and I could really use some help.

The first person who comes to mind is Theo, who is the exact person who can't help. And as much as I trust Josh, he's a teenage guy, so he's off the table. The only other person I think might be helpful is Alanna, which...could work. She already knows about my feelings, so I wouldn't have to go through the whole story again. And, she's not going to go off and tell everyone we know. Otherwise she would have already.