Ms. Anderson

Chapter 13

"Hey, honey. Had a good time this afternoon?" Mom asks, drying her hands before planting a quick kiss on my cheek.

"Yeah, it was nice. We watched some movies and made lunch," I lie, relieved seeing that they're believing it.

"Which friend were you with again?" Dad asks as mom serves up dinner.

"Jennifer, but you haven't met her yet. She's the one hosting the party this weekend," I explain, taking a bite while dad nods as he remembers.

"So... it feels like we haven't really had a chance to talk lately," Dad breaks the comforting silence.

"Talk about what?" I question, adding more pasta to my plate.

"We've noticed you've been having a tough time lately. We just want you to know that we can schedule more therapy sessions for you, just for now, until you're feeling better," Dad explains, his hand intertwining with Mom's as they both look at me with concern written all over their faces.

"I don't need... I'm fine. Really," I dismiss their offer, unsure of what they're hinting at. I feel fine.

"I don't think you're fine," Mom says softly, her voice trembling. "We believe you've been avoiding facing it, hoping it will just go away. But if you keep ignoring it, things could spiral out of control," she sniffles, and tears start to well up in my eyes, pained to see her so upset.

"I'm okay, really," I insist, unsure if I'm trying to convince them or myself. "But if it eases your mind, I'll make sure to see my therapist more often," I offer, and Mom releases Dad's hand before pulling me into a comforting hug.

"That's good to hear, because we've already set up an appointment. It's tomorrow at five," she informs me, letting go of me, and I nod in agreement.

"Okay, I'll be there," I promise her, then glance at Dad. He's giving me a subtle nod, trying to hide his emotions, but I can see the pain in his eyes. It's the same look he gave me when I woke up in the hospital, and it's enough to bring tears to my own eyes.

In the middle of everything with Hannah, I kind of lost myself and didn't notice when things started to get worse. I didn't want to deal with it because I was finally feeling happy, and I was scared that facing it would mess everything up.

I'm not hungry anymore and push my plate back as mom settles back next to dad.

"Can I be excused?" I ask, my voice trembling as I speak. They both nod, and I head to my room.

My mind is racing, jumping from thoughts of Hannah to myself, and even back to last year. I just need everything to be quiet, but I know the only way to get it is by going down a path I'd rather avoid.

I consider reaching out to Hannah because I know she can help me feel better, but I worry that it would be selfish of me. I realize I'm not her priority right now, and it's obvious she's not in the mood to talk. I'll just have to find another way to calm myself down.

So, I decide to drink. I let my parents know I'm going out for a while, and after convincing them for a few minutes, they agree. I head to the bar where I was with my friends a while ago, hoping that a few drinks will help me shake off this feeling.

I get there and waste no time ordering the strongest drink they've got. They don't even bother checking my age, which is why I love this bar.

I gulp it down like it's nothing and order another one. As I'm finishing it, someone takes a seat beside me. I don't pay much attention until I hear his high-pitched voice. Fuck. My. Life.