Reincarnated in Mushoku Tensei as a Girl!?

Chapter 5

I blurted out loud, I do wonder how am I not allowed to have mana if I'm given a power I can't use until I'm 15 years old...

"It maybe is, but don't always rely on it. After all, a swordsman can still defeat a mage."

"That's true..."

We were about to go back until I remembered.

"Hey, hey, miss Roxy?"

"Hm?"

"About the plan to help make Rudeus want to go outside."

"That? Come to think of it... You're right, he never took even a step outside the courtyard."

I nodded.

"That's right, so I think we can help him."

"Then what is your plan, Jeanne?"

I grin mischievously before telling her about the plan.

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Ugh... I really want to go out with those two...

I can't believe they left me here and walked around the village as usual again. Uuu, it would be a date with two girls had I agree to go with them.

But.. outside is scary, everytime I look outside past the fence it reminded me of that day...

Stripped naked and tied to the gate, my skin getting pierced by by the cold rain, the students laughing and taking pictures of me, Regret, Despair...

I am truly afraid.

So much that my legs start to shiver.

Roxy-sensei said that the graduation is to be held outside the village.

It made it worse, I can't go outside.

I can walk to the courtyard, but that's as far as I can go.

Because I know...

That the moment I stepped outside, the peaceful scenery might suddenly turn into hell. The seemingly peaceful sights are unable to accept me.

In my past life, I had countless delusions when I was unable to sleep.

Deluding myself to escape from reality.

I dreamt of being an average person where I could do what my limit allowed me to do.

If I take a step outside of this house, I may possibly wake up from this dream.

And when I wake up.. I'll return to drown in regrets...

No, no, I shook my head.

This reality, if someone told me this were a VRMMORPG I might've believe them.

'This is reality.'

I keep convincing myself.

This reality is not a dream.

But no matter how much effort I put into my heart...

I still could not do it. I can't bring myself to step outside.